I am on the max dose of Gabapentin - 600 mg, 3x/day.
So far I like Gabapentin, however I'm confused by my pain really hurting me a lot still (can't stretch, can't walk much), and by it working better and worse. It doesn't give me any side effects, which is good. I'm also on 20 mg Cymbalta, since November.
Every time I take Gabapentin, I need it. That is, I am tight and sore and in pain and, I tend to expect that Gabapentin will make it better, which it often dos. Sometimes, I really feel a period of pain relief, when I am lying down and ahh- all those spasming (cramping, pulling, tight) muscles relax. Its funny because I try to get them to relax all day by doing stretches/purposeful releasing, and yet its not until Gabapentin that I actually feel - oh, THATS how its supposed to feel.
I often wake up with a ton of spasms throughout my back that just get worse the longer I go without Gabapentin.
However, I don't feel that much better for very long. And seriously, even though better is much better than spasming (much, much much much better than spasming, it makes me feel terrible), its not very good! I'm starting to go crazy thinking that this is my quality of life- waiting for my meds to work, then going back into pain, and all the while not being able to run or stretch my hamstrings.
However also, of note- my experience is that Gabapentin works better when I combine it with Vicodin (from the ER)- which is 5-325 acetaminophen-hydrocodone, which I take just a half tablet at a time. I really notice a difference.
Also of note-I had a few times where I took Gabapentin a little too close together. What happened was really surprising. I had a period where I was like thinking-thinking-thinking-thinking, my thinking was just off the wall crazy and I felt anxious. But then when that subsided on its own, I became extremely at peace and "here" and could socialize with less problems than usual. (as in, at the synagogue, and that one time at the pizza place after my neurologist appt)
So with those things in mind- I am going to try Lyrica. While I do obviously expect it to help, that is why I am taking it, it likely won't help me in the incredible way that the anti fungal did, where my body started relaxing big time, not just a moderate decrease is spasms, but actually my muscles breaking open and letting go. So... its probably not going to cure me, you know?
How I'm doing on Lo-Loestrin -- I had the least bleeding period ever, had absolutely no need for a tampon. However, I felt that my blood really really smelled, stunk, and that was kind of gross.
Sunday, December 23, 2018
Sunday, September 30, 2018
Another incidence of the ER thing; but it was a short one
I felt the pumping feeling, after having gotten muscle spasms in my neck and jaw.
It wasn't a bad one, it only lasted an hour. The pumping/rushing feeling actually felt good.. pain relief.
The very last thing I had eaten was a box of raspberries and a sip of wine.
It wasn't a bad one, it only lasted an hour. The pumping/rushing feeling actually felt good.. pain relief.
The very last thing I had eaten was a box of raspberries and a sip of wine.
Saturday, September 29, 2018
Didn't get my period on 09/22
Didn't get it, it would have been a month from the last time.
So I took Brintellix and we will see what happens, if I get it again. I took Brintellix 10 mg for 3 days only. I had bad dreams but I also think I was having bad dreams before it too.
So-- update in a couple weeks..
I hope I get it! It makes me happy.
So I took Brintellix and we will see what happens, if I get it again. I took Brintellix 10 mg for 3 days only. I had bad dreams but I also think I was having bad dreams before it too.
So-- update in a couple weeks..
I hope I get it! It makes me happy.
Monday, September 17, 2018
Times I went to Moishe House (and thus had alcohol)
The first date, I'm not sure. Possibly: May 8
The following dates:
July 20
Aug 17 (I think I skipped this one when I was feeling really bad with symptoms..)
Sept 15
edited: nah, I tried some more wine but it didn't bring on any symptoms. hmph.
The following dates:
July 20
Aug 17 (I think I skipped this one when I was feeling really bad with symptoms..)
Sept 15
edited: nah, I tried some more wine but it didn't bring on any symptoms. hmph.
Another incidence of the muscle spasms /wierd ER head thing
Began 09/16.
To go into a few details:
I was constipated beginning 09/15. It was odd but I didn't think much of it.
Day of 09/16 - Was doing perfectly fine. Took codeine along with Neurontin, something I had tried out the last two days. Around 4 pm, got really nauseus, threw up, and then also had all this pain relief throughout my body, but sick feeling. Figured that it was due to the Codeine, a side effect of Codeine is nausea, but I had taken Codeine the day before and not had nausea.
Head started really hurting, enough that I was vocally going 'ahh, ahh', and staying out of light from the TV. I was nauseus. I forced myself to eat a chocolate bar and I felt better a few hours later and went to sleep. I woke up at 6AM which is strange for me.
Currently- getting muscle spasms, ow! Not very nauseus, but a little. Definitely not getting that rushing feeling which is also pain-relieving.
I'm getting tested for Variegate Porphyria today.. hope to heck that it IS so that I can get a diagnosis!.
If not, then WHY AM I GETTING MUSCLE SPASMS INTERMITTENTLY
edit: I am not on birth control so its not that. I didn't change my meds significantly.. I did try codeine, could that have been the culprit? But, I didn't have codeine the other two times it happened this year.
EDIT: Test for Porphyrins was negative, so its not Porphyria :(
To go into a few details:
I was constipated beginning 09/15. It was odd but I didn't think much of it.
Day of 09/16 - Was doing perfectly fine. Took codeine along with Neurontin, something I had tried out the last two days. Around 4 pm, got really nauseus, threw up, and then also had all this pain relief throughout my body, but sick feeling. Figured that it was due to the Codeine, a side effect of Codeine is nausea, but I had taken Codeine the day before and not had nausea.
Head started really hurting, enough that I was vocally going 'ahh, ahh', and staying out of light from the TV. I was nauseus. I forced myself to eat a chocolate bar and I felt better a few hours later and went to sleep. I woke up at 6AM which is strange for me.
Currently- getting muscle spasms, ow! Not very nauseus, but a little. Definitely not getting that rushing feeling which is also pain-relieving.
I'm getting tested for Variegate Porphyria today.. hope to heck that it IS so that I can get a diagnosis!.
If not, then WHY AM I GETTING MUSCLE SPASMS INTERMITTENTLY
edit: I am not on birth control so its not that. I didn't change my meds significantly.. I did try codeine, could that have been the culprit? But, I didn't have codeine the other two times it happened this year.
EDIT: Test for Porphyrins was negative, so its not Porphyria :(
Saturday, August 25, 2018
Got my period! 08/25/18
Completely out of the blue.
Here's what I've been doing that might have caused it-- trying to put it together, like always.. :(
Tried a Fluconazole recently; 4 days before period
Took Trintellix with Fluconazole for two days - 10 mg, then 20 mg
Have been taking 'the supplement' - N-acetyl cysteine
recently started eating more fat in the form of cheese and dairy
my guess is the Trintellix (Brintellix), because that is what caused my period last year that was kind of surprising, although I had also been taking Fluconazole then so that is unclear!
Here's what I've been doing that might have caused it-- trying to put it together, like always.. :(
Tried a Fluconazole recently; 4 days before period
Took Trintellix with Fluconazole for two days - 10 mg, then 20 mg
Have been taking 'the supplement' - N-acetyl cysteine
recently started eating more fat in the form of cheese and dairy
my guess is the Trintellix (Brintellix), because that is what caused my period last year that was kind of surprising, although I had also been taking Fluconazole then so that is unclear!
Friday, August 17, 2018
Part III testing- a few inhibitory items and others
Others:
Date: 09/08/18
Food Item: Epicatechin; don't know the dose
Time Ingested: [ ]
Reaction No. 1: [ good reaction, felt like some of my muscles stopped being held tight, so that was interesting]
Date: 09/08/18
Food Item: Diatomaceous Earth, silica
Reaction No. 1: [ no bad reaction to taste or in body. Good reaction- Felt some muscle releasing, not sure if it was due to the diatomaceous earth or because I had recently ingested nortriptyline. Would be good to know the difference and keep in mind.. ]
What time did it end? [lasted a few min]
What time did it end? [lasted a few min]
Date: 09/07/18
Food Item: Potassium choline
Time Ingested: [ ]
Reaction No. 1: [ tasted bad, felt bad in my body until I burped 15 min later. No other reaction noted.]
What time did it start: [ ]
How severe was it? Scale 1-10: [ ]
What time did it end? [ ]
Mainly inhibitory items- GABA, L-theanine, Magnesium Glycinate, Potassium Glycinate
Date: 08/17/18
Mainly inhibitory items- GABA, L-theanine, Magnesium Glycinate, Potassium Glycinate
Date: 08/17/18
Food Item: GABA
Time Ingested: [ ]
Reaction No. 1: [ very slight reaction. Had ten seconds of feeling in my body. and had a bowel movement, which may or may not have been related. Did not get the feeling when I took more of it though]
What time did it start: [ ]
How severe was it? Scale 1-10: [ 1 ]
What time did it end? [ immediately ]
Date: 08/17/18
Food Item: Magnesium Glycinate
Time Ingested: [ 1/4 tsp ]
Reaction No. 1: [ no reaction ]
What time did it start: [ ]
How severe was it? Scale 1-10: [ ]
What time did it end? [ ]
Date: 08/17/18
Food Item: Taurine 500 mg pill
Time Ingested: [ 11:03 pm ]
Reaction No. 1: [ no reaction as of 5 min ]
What time did it start: [ ]
How severe was it? Scale 1-10: [ ]
What time did it end? [ ]
Date:
Food Item:
Time Ingested: [ ]
Reaction No. 1: [ ]
What time did it start: [ ]
How severe was it? Scale 1-10: [ ]
What time did it end? [ ]
possible ovulation on 07/03
I had a noticeable sticky discharge for a couple days. It was odd. It was coming out in a long thin line.
Possible ovulation? I haven't had my period naturally all year. But I was on birth control the last two months and then stopped.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BE MY PERIOD!!
(If so, my period will land two weeks from now-- 07/17)
oh god I hope so! Although, perhaps I'm getting all excited for no good reason, too. :(
EDIT- I ended up taking birth control later so we'll never know if I would have gotten a period. But then I stopped taking birth control after a week and a half because I was being annoying and scared of the blue dye. (had a light period)
Possible ovulation? I haven't had my period naturally all year. But I was on birth control the last two months and then stopped.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BE MY PERIOD!!
(If so, my period will land two weeks from now-- 07/17)
oh god I hope so! Although, perhaps I'm getting all excited for no good reason, too. :(
EDIT- I ended up taking birth control later so we'll never know if I would have gotten a period. But then I stopped taking birth control after a week and a half because I was being annoying and scared of the blue dye. (had a light period)
Saturday, July 14, 2018
Re-try of Supplement with only cysteine and flavoring
Re-try of Supplement with only Cysteine and flavoring
Day 1 (07/14) - 15 mg
reaction: stomach hurts, immediate
Day 2 - 15 mg
Day 3-
Day 4-
Day 5-
Day 6-
Day 7-
Day 8-
Day 9-
Day 1 (07/14) - 15 mg
reaction: stomach hurts, immediate
Day 2 - 15 mg
Day 3-
Day 4-
Day 5-
Day 6-
Day 7-
Day 8-
Day 9-
Thursday, July 5, 2018
Part II- Elimination Ingredients Test Log- Amino Acids
Part II Individual Ingredients Elimination Test Log - Amino Acids
Key:
* and BOLD - bad reaction
* - good reaction
and, note to self- try to do the tests 30 min before / 2 hours after food, and keep the amino under the tongue.
Date: 07/06
Food Item: Glutamic Acid - 1/4 tsp, 325 mg *
Food Item: Glutamic Acid - 1/4 tsp, 325 mg *
Time Ingested: [ 8:20 am ]
Reaction No. [ 1: immediate- doesn't feel too good in stomach going down.
a few min later - stomach ache, shoulder pain, headache. I feel pretty sick.
later- farted. odd. later burped. ]
a few min later - stomach ache, shoulder pain, headache. I feel pretty sick.
later- farted. odd. later burped. ]
What time did it start: [ immediate ]
How severe was it? Scale 1-10: [ 6 ]
What time did it end? [ the stomachache / sick feeling lasted around 60 min; I ate to relieve it ]
Date: 07/06
Food Item: Carnitine - 1/4 tsp, 700 mg *
Time Ingested: [ 12:25 pm ]
Reaction No. 1: [ tasted harsh going down. immediate burp. then felt a little sick; stayed sick feeling in stomach for awhile, but no headache or other reactions. ]
What time did it start: [ immediate ]
How severe was it? Scale 1-10: [ 3 ]
What time did it end? [ 40 minutes or so]
Reaction No 2: [ Feel tired, headache, 30 min later] -- although I suppose that could've been a computer headache
Reaction No 2: [ Feel tired, headache, 30 min later] -- although I suppose that could've been a computer headache
Date: 07/09
Food Item: Choline - 1/4 tsp, 600 mg *
Time Ingested: [ 12:55pm ]
Reaction No. 1: [ ugh harsh going down like the others. No bad reaction. I did burp, which I consider a good reaction ]
Date: 07/10
Food Item: Mannose - 1/4 tsp, 500 mg
Time Ingested: [ 7:47pm ]
No response. liked the taste.
Date: 07/10
Food Item: Glycine - 1/6 tsp, 500 mg
Time Ingested: [ 8:25pm ]
No response
Date: 07/10
Food Item: Glutamine - 1/8 tsp, 500 mg
Time Ingested: [ 8:58pm ]
No response
Date: 07/10
Food Item: Tryptophan - 1/4 tsp, 400 mg *
Time Ingested: [ 9:30 pm ]
Reaction No. 1: [ tasted bad. I am not sure but I think I feel some body muscles releasing. (possible slight good reaction). no bad reaction as of 10 min in.]
What time did it start: [ 10 min later]
What time did it end? [ 10-20 min later]
Date: 07/10
Food Item: Serine - 1/4 tsp, 650 mg *
Time Ingested: [10:11 pm ]
Reaction No. 1: [ similar to tryptophan- I'm not sure but possibly some muscle release, and no bad reaction except a tiny amount of neck nerve pain]
What time did it start: [ 5 min ]
Date: 07/10
Food Item: Methionine - 1/4 tsp, 500 mg
Time Ingested: [ 11:20 pm ]
No response except tiny bit of neck nerve pain
No response except tiny bit of neck nerve pain
Date: 07/10
Food Item: Bamboo / Silica (retest) - 1/16tsp, 100mg *
Time Ingested: [ 11:48 pm]
Reaction No. 1: [ neck nerve pain, headache, heat ]
What time did it start: [ within a few min ]
How severe was it? Scale 1-10: [ 5 ]
What time did it end? [ lasted only a few minutes ... that's odd. The other bad reactions to other ingredients lasted longer. I think the headache came back later for awhile]
No response. [ slight positive- I liked it when I drank it.; I liked the acidity ]
Date: 07/11
Food Item: Histidine - 1/8th tsp, 600 mg *
Time Ingested: [ 2:46 pm ]
No response initially... My eye was twitching for a little bit at least 20 min after ingesting it.
Date: 07/11
Food Item: Aspartic Acid - 1/8th tsp, 460 mg*
Time Ingested: [ 7:45pm ]
No response. [ slight positive- I liked it when I drank it.; I liked the acidity ]
Date: 07/11
Food Item: Citrulline - 1/4 tsp, 600 mg *
Time Ingested: [ 8:56 pm ]
No adverse response. [slight positive- I liked it when I drank it due to the acidity. immediate burp ]
Date: 07/11
Food Item: Ornithine - 1/4 tsp, 400mg
Time Ingested: [ 9:34pm ]
No response.
Date: 07/12
Food Item: Proline- 1/8th tsp, 300 mg *
Time Ingested: [ 9:06 am ]
Reaction No. 1: [ no headache, but my knees started hurting. I don't know if its due to taking proline or just a coincidence; they may have hurt anyways.]
What time did it start: [ 20 min in ]
How severe was it? Scale 1-10: [ 4 ]
What time did it end? [ not sure ]
No response.
no taste, unlike all the others
Date: 07/13
Food Item: Leucine - 1/4 tsp, 500 mg *
Time Ingested: [ 10:48 AM ]
Tasted terrible. No headache, but stomach hurt until I burped. Level 3
Date: 07/13
Food Item: Isoleucine *
Time Ingested: [ 12:04 pm ]
This tastes so terrible. No headache, but stomach hurt until I burped. Level 2
Date: 07/13
Food Item: Lysine- 1/4 tsp, 650 mg *
Time Ingested: [ 2:27pm ]
Tasted bad. No headache, but made my stomach hurt until I could burp. Level 2
Date: 07/13
Food Item: Arginine - 1/4 tsp, 700 mg
Time Ingested: [ 5:40 pm ]
No response.
Date: 07/13
Food Item: Taurine - 1/4 tsp, 500 mg *
Time Ingested: [ 6:35 pm ]
I got a headache immediately, then right after, my forehead and neck muscles did some cracking (cracking is really good for me, and is always a surprise), and also I had some feeling in my feet, and an increase in breathing.
Muscle releases lasted a few min only.
Muscle releases lasted a few min only.
Date: 07/13
Food Item: Tyrosine *
Time Ingested: [ 6:55 pm ]
no taste, unlike all the others
mixed response. very slight positive- some feeling in my feet. negative - headache, stomach pain, shoulder pain. Level 3
Date: 07/13
Food Item: Carnosine - 1/8th tsp, 250 mg *
Time Ingested: [ 8:03 pm ]
Didn't taste bad. promising positive - Various muscle releasing. 15 - 20 min long or so. ]
Date: 07/13
Food Item: Threonine - 1/4tsp, 650mg *
Time Ingested: [ 8:50 pm ]
Also promising positive- muscle releasing. was immediate so I can't be sure it isn't just the carnosine still.
Date: 07/13
Food Item: Phenylalanine - 1/4 tsp, 900 mg
Time Ingested: [ 9:52 pm]
No response. Tasted really bad. Brief neck nerve feeling.
Date: 07/13
Food Item: Valine
Time Ingested: [ 10:34pm ]
No response. tastes really bad.
Sunday, June 24, 2018
Individual Ingredients Elimination Test Log - Supplement
Supplement Individual Ingredients Elimination Test Log
Key:
Key:
* and BOLD - bad reaction
* - good reaction
* - good reaction
Date: 06/24
Food Item No. 1: [Dextrose] *
Time Ingested: [12:40 pm]
Reaction No. 1: [can't breathe]
What time did it start: [immediate]
How severe was it? Scale 1-10: [5]
What time did it end? [short, lasted 5 or 10 min]
Date: 06/25
Food Item No. 2: [Bromelain] *
Time ingested: [6:20pm]
*No bad reaction as of 15 min later; in fact I'm feeling some body releasing.
My identallergy IGG test listed this as an intolerance.
My identallergy IGG test listed this as an intolerance.
Date: 06/26
Food Item No. 3: [ Bone Broth ] *
Time ingested: [ 2:00pm ]
Reaction No. 1: It tasted bad. Reaction is mainly a deep headache, and the feeling that I can't breathe a little.
What time did it start: [5 min later]
How severe was it? Scale 1-10 [6]
What time did it end? [within 20 min]
Date: 06/27
Food Item No. 4: [ Bamboo ]
Time ingested: [ 1:10PM ]
No reaction.
Feel like I have trapped gas and tinnitus, but not sure if that is due to the bamboo or eating food shortly after (my bad)
Date: 06/27
Food Item No. 5: [ Pina- pineapple powder ]
Time ingested: [ 6:00pm ]
No reaction
liked the taste!
liked the taste!
Date: 06/27
Food Item No. 5: [ Ribose ] *
Time ingested: [ 8:29pm ]
Reaction No. 1: trouble breathing- gas in stomach and airways tight
What time did it start: a couple minutes later
How severe was it? Scale 1-10 [6]
What time did it end? 10 min later
Date: 06/27
Food Item No. 6: [ Apple Pectin ] *
Time ingested: [ 9:13PM ]
Reaction No. 1: stomach is tight and can't breathe and a solid headache,
a few minutes later: stomach tightness has eased, but pain in shoulders- yikes
a few minutes later: stomach tightness has eased, but pain in shoulders- yikes
What time did it start: one minute later
How severe was it? Scale 1-10 [5]
What time did it end? 10-15 min later
Date: 06/28
Food Item No. 7: [ Papain ]
No reaction
Date: 06/28
Food Item No. 8: [ Gel / Gelatin ] *
Time ingested: [ 6:50pm ]
Reaction No. 1: headache, can't breathe, stomach hurts
What time did it start: immediate
How severe was it? Scale 1-10 [3-4]
What time did it end? 20 min
tasted bad, was harsh going down!
* But I felt that it was possibly helping me- feet tingling, sudden desire to poop (I'm usually constipated so that helped), burped; energy. Began right after taking it, only lasted a few min.
*update- I slept better last night; woke in a little less pain
No reaction
Date: 06/29
Food Item No. 9: [ Cysteine ] *
Time ingested: [ 6:27 pm ]
tasted bad, was harsh going down!
* But I felt that it was possibly helping me- feet tingling, sudden desire to poop (I'm usually constipated so that helped), burped; energy. Began right after taking it, only lasted a few min.
*update- I slept better last night; woke in a little less pain
Date: 06/29
Food Item No. 10: [ Mannose ] *
Time ingested: [ 7:17 pm ]
No reaction; I think at first Possibly tingling in my feet.
Reaction No. 1: I got a bit of nerve feeling in the back of my neck, and feel a little hot, and then a headache
What time did it start: 20 min later
How severe was it? Scale 1-10 [4]
What time did it end? 7:50pm
*update- I slept better last night; woke in a little less pain
*update- I slept better last night; woke in a little less pain
Date: 06/30
Food Item No. 11: [ Lemon ]
Time ingested: [ 12:38 PM ]
No reaction
Date: 06/30
Food Item No. 12: [ Pumpkin ]
Time ingested: [ 2:20pm ]
No reaction
I liked it.
Date: 06/30
Food Item No. 13: [ Carrot ]
Time ingested: [ 4:00pm ]
No Reaction
Saturday, June 23, 2018
Eating Log Day 17
Woke up in an unhappy thing of knee joint pain and body tightness and weird feelings and pretty extreme lethargy; didn't want to get out of bed.
Came downstairs and ate 2 oranges (was wondering if I'm Vitamin C deficient), and coconut, and a little bit of turkey jerky.
Now I've got a reaction going. Assuming its something in the jerky. I want to lay in bed more.
Sucks for me.
Came downstairs and ate 2 oranges (was wondering if I'm Vitamin C deficient), and coconut, and a little bit of turkey jerky.
Now I've got a reaction going. Assuming its something in the jerky. I want to lay in bed more.
Sucks for me.
Eating log Day 16
No news,
still don't know what I am reacting to.
Reactions that I had today:
I had a reaction when I took (just wanted to try)- the Womens Sexual Libido pills. Tried one. Got a reaction not long after of headache and movement in my body. I know its a little dumb of me to be trying pills when I know that I have these effects. But, I wanted to try it because I thought it might 'improve circulation'.
It got a little bad, but it didn't last more than half an hour.
I was okay until after dinner.
When I ate dinner, I ate: tomato sauce and 2 eggs. The egg yolk wasn't fully cooked.
Anyways, after dinner, I got 'the reaction'- it came on strong. Felt movement in my body, overfocus on thoughts, less pain in body.
It keeps coming on strong at night, hours after I've eaten. I don't know why. I'd really like to know what is going on.
Then woke up early in the morning or late at night (same thing the last few days), at mercy of the reaction. I was feeling pretty miserable with these sensations.
Wondered if I have a 'nightshade allergy' because of the tomato. But, I really do not know. What I do know is that I honestly don't seem to digest food if I eat it lukewarm. It doesn't feel good for me at all.
still don't know what I am reacting to.
Reactions that I had today:
I had a reaction when I took (just wanted to try)- the Womens Sexual Libido pills. Tried one. Got a reaction not long after of headache and movement in my body. I know its a little dumb of me to be trying pills when I know that I have these effects. But, I wanted to try it because I thought it might 'improve circulation'.
It got a little bad, but it didn't last more than half an hour.
I was okay until after dinner.
When I ate dinner, I ate: tomato sauce and 2 eggs. The egg yolk wasn't fully cooked.
Anyways, after dinner, I got 'the reaction'- it came on strong. Felt movement in my body, overfocus on thoughts, less pain in body.
It keeps coming on strong at night, hours after I've eaten. I don't know why. I'd really like to know what is going on.
Then woke up early in the morning or late at night (same thing the last few days), at mercy of the reaction. I was feeling pretty miserable with these sensations.
Wondered if I have a 'nightshade allergy' because of the tomato. But, I really do not know. What I do know is that I honestly don't seem to digest food if I eat it lukewarm. It doesn't feel good for me at all.
Monday, June 18, 2018
Eating Log Day 14
Missed a few days again. My stomach hasn't been going completely flipping crazy anymore.
Then suddenly, all the gas!
Here's what I ate right before- dried 'flattened' bananas from Trader Joes, a bite of canned pineapple sugar thing (knew as I ate it that it was NOT good for me), and hummus- the ingredients were garbanzo beans, lemon, and olive oil, and I had it with some avocado.
Then, my body went crazy. I think it was that bite of pineapple sugar, and avocado, that completely did me in. Luckily, I didn't eat too much, so its getting less crazy.
Also- I was having these reactions to Helen's formula. Especially bad on tuesday when I couldn't handle any food.
So- now I think I have SIBO, and that I am dying from it. Although- it can be killed with antibiotics...
Then suddenly, all the gas!
Here's what I ate right before- dried 'flattened' bananas from Trader Joes, a bite of canned pineapple sugar thing (knew as I ate it that it was NOT good for me), and hummus- the ingredients were garbanzo beans, lemon, and olive oil, and I had it with some avocado.
Then, my body went crazy. I think it was that bite of pineapple sugar, and avocado, that completely did me in. Luckily, I didn't eat too much, so its getting less crazy.
Also- I was having these reactions to Helen's formula. Especially bad on tuesday when I couldn't handle any food.
So- now I think I have SIBO, and that I am dying from it. Although- it can be killed with antibiotics...
Saturday, June 16, 2018
Eating Log Day 8
Missed a few days; was at the Foster Sullivan Conference flipping out.
Went to Dr. Olsen- he told me gluten and dairy is the problem.
However- I woke up in the morning feeling pretty alright, nothing going on in my body except overthinking and tight hamstrings.
Ate (just for the hell of eating; I wasn't hungry; I'm never hungry)
-chocolate (contains soy lethicin)
-(dried bananas)
- sweet potato chips from Terra brand, which contain sea salt, canola/safflower/sunflower pressed oil
I noticed a body response immediately after eating the sweet potato chips; so I think it was that.
Am I having some issue with oil?
I thought it was salt.
But, I also had a hyper-response when I had those supplements at the sauna; I don't know what was in them.
:(
There's no gluten or dairy in any of this food, UNLESS by trace factory production
Ideas: SALT, NOT CHEWING MY FOOD (WHOLE PORTIONS OF FOOD DIGESTING BADLY), and ACTUAL FOOD INGREDIENTS ???
But one thing is sure- this is SOMETHING that I am EATING. I keep waking up feeling fine, which is obviously because I'm not eating at night. Then I eat, and POOF, I'm all messed up.
What am I feeling? I feel ear pain, this feeling that my throat is closing up, this movement or pounding in my body (that's the most distressing); and general 'something is wrong'...
Went to Dr. Olsen- he told me gluten and dairy is the problem.
However- I woke up in the morning feeling pretty alright, nothing going on in my body except overthinking and tight hamstrings.
Ate (just for the hell of eating; I wasn't hungry; I'm never hungry)
-chocolate (contains soy lethicin)
-(dried bananas)
- sweet potato chips from Terra brand, which contain sea salt, canola/safflower/sunflower pressed oil
I noticed a body response immediately after eating the sweet potato chips; so I think it was that.
Am I having some issue with oil?
I thought it was salt.
But, I also had a hyper-response when I had those supplements at the sauna; I don't know what was in them.
:(
There's no gluten or dairy in any of this food, UNLESS by trace factory production
Ideas: SALT, NOT CHEWING MY FOOD (WHOLE PORTIONS OF FOOD DIGESTING BADLY), and ACTUAL FOOD INGREDIENTS ???
But one thing is sure- this is SOMETHING that I am EATING. I keep waking up feeling fine, which is obviously because I'm not eating at night. Then I eat, and POOF, I'm all messed up.
What am I feeling? I feel ear pain, this feeling that my throat is closing up, this movement or pounding in my body (that's the most distressing); and general 'something is wrong'...
Tuesday, June 12, 2018
Eating Log Day 4
This is terrible..
today went pretty well. I was feeling better.. athough, I am really tight all over. I don't know what is going on.
But tonight, after eating quite a few items after 8 pm- just massive gas attack. Gas that couldn't exit- so pressure in my head and tinnitus. Gas that actually did escape, along with about a dozen digestive enzymes (starting to find these thing very interesting).
IF ONLY I had just not eaten after 8 pm. OMG
Just stopped. But no, mom was home, and she was eating, so I started to eat...
Here is what I ate- drank some coffee drink from the dollar store (I think that was what did me in). Ate a probiotic, new which has prebiotic, as well as two liver cleanse (with magnesium). Ate a medium amount of feta cheese, super salty, with crackers. Man, have I NOT been sticking to this diet.
big mistake.
But again- felt like I had heartburn, esophogeal reflux, gas, what the hell is going on? Do I have an acute infection or just a 'dysbiosis' of SIBO?
Pretty terrible.
I've been drinking huge amounts of water and tea and digestive enzymes, and on top of that, I am completely constipated.
It hit me while i was in bed. I was in bed, about half an hour in to my last food and drink. The wierd thing is that when it started, I thought that my muscles were relaxing. But then it started to be pretty intense heartburn and pain so I had to get up out of bed (lying down isn't good), and burped, and now have been up for two hours dealing with this.
Tomorrow I go to the conference. Hope I don't look like crap, although I probably do.
My neck hurts alot- it comes on and goes away.
And yet- here I am, unable to poop after a few days and two magnesium pills, tons of water, exercise. THIS IS NOT GOOD. BOWEL OBSTRUCTION COMING, PERHAPS.
since eating fennel seed (sucking on it), my symptoms are slowly normalizing, thank god
today went pretty well. I was feeling better.. athough, I am really tight all over. I don't know what is going on.
But tonight, after eating quite a few items after 8 pm- just massive gas attack. Gas that couldn't exit- so pressure in my head and tinnitus. Gas that actually did escape, along with about a dozen digestive enzymes (starting to find these thing very interesting).
IF ONLY I had just not eaten after 8 pm. OMG
Just stopped. But no, mom was home, and she was eating, so I started to eat...
Here is what I ate- drank some coffee drink from the dollar store (I think that was what did me in). Ate a probiotic, new which has prebiotic, as well as two liver cleanse (with magnesium). Ate a medium amount of feta cheese, super salty, with crackers. Man, have I NOT been sticking to this diet.
big mistake.
But again- felt like I had heartburn, esophogeal reflux, gas, what the hell is going on? Do I have an acute infection or just a 'dysbiosis' of SIBO?
Pretty terrible.
I've been drinking huge amounts of water and tea and digestive enzymes, and on top of that, I am completely constipated.
It hit me while i was in bed. I was in bed, about half an hour in to my last food and drink. The wierd thing is that when it started, I thought that my muscles were relaxing. But then it started to be pretty intense heartburn and pain so I had to get up out of bed (lying down isn't good), and burped, and now have been up for two hours dealing with this.
Tomorrow I go to the conference. Hope I don't look like crap, although I probably do.
My neck hurts alot- it comes on and goes away.
And yet- here I am, unable to poop after a few days and two magnesium pills, tons of water, exercise. THIS IS NOT GOOD. BOWEL OBSTRUCTION COMING, PERHAPS.
since eating fennel seed (sucking on it), my symptoms are slowly normalizing, thank god
Monday, June 11, 2018
Eating Log Day 3
I was all kinds of unhappy yesterday. Stomach pain that wouldn't quit. Sick to my stomach, couldn't burp-- pressure in body and head and ears. I keep getting a tinnitus like feeling in my head when I feel all the pressure.
I had a bowel movement that was like a ball- all packed up and sticky. Called Steatohhrea. (fat malabsorption). It felt bad came out so fast, and bothered me.
Tried so many different things to make my stomach feel better and release gas, so of course I can't keep track. Water, coconut milk with greens powder, chocolate, different things, toast (I had been gluten free up until today, but I wanted to see if toast would settle me).
At the end of the day, we went to Ruths Chris. I felt so much happier upon eating (steak, veal, bread (I had been gluten free, but thought that toast would help), butter, dessert of lemon bar, soup with kale. And went home feeling good. And, much better than the whole rest of the day. The heat, the fat?
Then, suddenly a couple hours later, I started to feel much worse, very suddenly. I started to get the very scary feeling I have been having, of my leg muscles pulling and tightening, involuntarily. It feels like tiny little centimeter gripping and tightening; not like large muscle activity.
It feels the worst in my hamstrings. This when I start thinking I am having a neurological issue; getting paralyzed. It really scary! And it occurs with a massive headache.
But why did it even come on? I hadn't eaten anything in the mean-time, or taken any medications; that I can remember.
So I ate chips, potato, ice cream, etc until it went away.
I took a ton of digestive enzyme.
Then this morning, I woke feeling very nice. Less pain than usual. Excited to try low-acid dieting.
Then as soon as I had a bowel movement, I ate a bunch of things to ward off me getting all sick.
So what happened? I got really sick, a very sudden spreading stomach pain, pressure, sickness, and tinnitus, headache-- I'm starting to think of this as a TOXIC REACTION to something ( I don't know to what).
Hopefully I don't die, or get Tinnitus really bad or deaf. That's where this seems to be going.
What the fuck? I ate like ten things so who knows. I ate corn enchilada with coconut oil, and pineapple, and had like ten medications- omega fish oil, multivitamin, antacid, birth control, chelated magnesium and calcium. And, a ton of digestive enzyme since I don't know what the issue is but I want it out of my stomach. SHIT. I have no idea which of these the problem lies in.
3pm: I had more headache and body movement sensations. I ate a bunch on wheat cookies (doh!) and sweet potato chips, then took digestive enzymes. Its wierd because my body feels kind of nicer than usual with all the movement feelings, but my back SIMPLY WILL NOT MOVE- BEND , TWIST, OR STRETCH. I REALLY HATE THIS. WHAT THE FUCK IS CAUSING ALL OF MY BACK PAIN????????????????????????????????
I SWEAR I AM GOING TO GO COMPLETELY CRAZY> THIS IS HOW MY BODY FEELS> I HAVE A HEAD<< A BUNCH OF THOUGHTS, AND A BACK THAT DOESN'T MOVE. THAT'S ABOUT ALL THAT I CAN FEEL. I CAN FEEL TIGHTNESS IN MY LEGS. BUT THEY DON'T STRETCH EITHER. I CAN WALK BUT I REALLY CANT STAND UPRIGHT. SARI THINKS I'M JUST COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY A STRESS / PSYCHOSOMATIC CASE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. I HATE THIS, AND IT DOESN'T FIT ANY MEDICAL GUIDELINES, EXCEPT THAT, WELL, I ALSO CAN'T HANDLE FOOD AND AM ENTIRELY CONSTIPATED.
I had a bowel movement that was like a ball- all packed up and sticky. Called Steatohhrea. (fat malabsorption). It felt bad came out so fast, and bothered me.
Tried so many different things to make my stomach feel better and release gas, so of course I can't keep track. Water, coconut milk with greens powder, chocolate, different things, toast (I had been gluten free up until today, but I wanted to see if toast would settle me).
At the end of the day, we went to Ruths Chris. I felt so much happier upon eating (steak, veal, bread (I had been gluten free, but thought that toast would help), butter, dessert of lemon bar, soup with kale. And went home feeling good. And, much better than the whole rest of the day. The heat, the fat?
Then, suddenly a couple hours later, I started to feel much worse, very suddenly. I started to get the very scary feeling I have been having, of my leg muscles pulling and tightening, involuntarily. It feels like tiny little centimeter gripping and tightening; not like large muscle activity.
It feels the worst in my hamstrings. This when I start thinking I am having a neurological issue; getting paralyzed. It really scary! And it occurs with a massive headache.
But why did it even come on? I hadn't eaten anything in the mean-time, or taken any medications; that I can remember.
So I ate chips, potato, ice cream, etc until it went away.
I took a ton of digestive enzyme.
Then this morning, I woke feeling very nice. Less pain than usual. Excited to try low-acid dieting.
Then as soon as I had a bowel movement, I ate a bunch of things to ward off me getting all sick.
So what happened? I got really sick, a very sudden spreading stomach pain, pressure, sickness, and tinnitus, headache-- I'm starting to think of this as a TOXIC REACTION to something ( I don't know to what).
Hopefully I don't die, or get Tinnitus really bad or deaf. That's where this seems to be going.
What the fuck? I ate like ten things so who knows. I ate corn enchilada with coconut oil, and pineapple, and had like ten medications- omega fish oil, multivitamin, antacid, birth control, chelated magnesium and calcium. And, a ton of digestive enzyme since I don't know what the issue is but I want it out of my stomach. SHIT. I have no idea which of these the problem lies in.
3pm: I had more headache and body movement sensations. I ate a bunch on wheat cookies (doh!) and sweet potato chips, then took digestive enzymes. Its wierd because my body feels kind of nicer than usual with all the movement feelings, but my back SIMPLY WILL NOT MOVE- BEND , TWIST, OR STRETCH. I REALLY HATE THIS. WHAT THE FUCK IS CAUSING ALL OF MY BACK PAIN????????????????????????????????
I SWEAR I AM GOING TO GO COMPLETELY CRAZY> THIS IS HOW MY BODY FEELS> I HAVE A HEAD<< A BUNCH OF THOUGHTS, AND A BACK THAT DOESN'T MOVE. THAT'S ABOUT ALL THAT I CAN FEEL. I CAN FEEL TIGHTNESS IN MY LEGS. BUT THEY DON'T STRETCH EITHER. I CAN WALK BUT I REALLY CANT STAND UPRIGHT. SARI THINKS I'M JUST COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY A STRESS / PSYCHOSOMATIC CASE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. I HATE THIS, AND IT DOESN'T FIT ANY MEDICAL GUIDELINES, EXCEPT THAT, WELL, I ALSO CAN'T HANDLE FOOD AND AM ENTIRELY CONSTIPATED.
Saturday, June 9, 2018
Eating log day 2
Well, I didn't really keep track of what I ate minute by minute. Here is what I remember though:
Breakfast- I forget. some chocolate. A little hummus and carrot
Lunch- chicken bowl from Lazy Dog Cafe which included- blackened chicken with seasonings, avocado, cheese, peas, a little rice, salsa. Also- a bit of Lev''s omelette. Also, some ice cream.
Snack- Ate chips (corn) and hummus. I haven't eaten corn in a long time. Also- cucumber. peeled apricot. parsley and sardines with olive oil.
drank- garlic tea, later, and apple cider vinegar diluted with water
Fairly suddenly 8pm-ish, got the movement feeling in my body, light sensitivity, very uncomfortable.
Can't understand if this is a good or bad thing, because it does bring pain relief. But it also makes me feel so scared and anxious, and my muscles cramp. It also makes me feel like I can think and type really fast, although my attention is on how weird the rushing feeling is.
For some reason, even though I "feel movement" all over my body, my back does not change. It stays stuck. This part sucks!
Also, my throat intermittently close up and opens. Feel like my ears are going to pop unless the gas goes away. Which makes me think its an allergy/immune response. Kind of makes sense. Although- a response to something I ATE or something internal like a PARASITE? I DON'T KNOW. F
Medications: Birth control pill, day 6 of 8 of Macrobid, took a liver supplement, took calcium and magnesium in the morning
I would like to think this is a detox reaction and that its "ok", but I really don't know what this is.
It reminds me of Fluconazole a little- in some ways yes, but some ways no. Yes- movement in my body. No- muscles aren't relaxing such as my back and stomach
Eating makes it better. When I eat, the gas goes away. But just for a little, then it comes right back. This sucks! This is so scary. What is happening to me?
update- the ER notes said that my neurological signs were normal. Something is causing all this gas though... So even though it feels like pressure and muscle changes, which seems neurological, plus my thinking is so much faster (?), its something to do with gas that is trapped and moves about.
Breakfast- I forget. some chocolate. A little hummus and carrot
Lunch- chicken bowl from Lazy Dog Cafe which included- blackened chicken with seasonings, avocado, cheese, peas, a little rice, salsa. Also- a bit of Lev''s omelette. Also, some ice cream.
Snack- Ate chips (corn) and hummus. I haven't eaten corn in a long time. Also- cucumber. peeled apricot. parsley and sardines with olive oil.
drank- garlic tea, later, and apple cider vinegar diluted with water
Fairly suddenly 8pm-ish, got the movement feeling in my body, light sensitivity, very uncomfortable.
Can't understand if this is a good or bad thing, because it does bring pain relief. But it also makes me feel so scared and anxious, and my muscles cramp. It also makes me feel like I can think and type really fast, although my attention is on how weird the rushing feeling is.
For some reason, even though I "feel movement" all over my body, my back does not change. It stays stuck. This part sucks!
Also, my throat intermittently close up and opens. Feel like my ears are going to pop unless the gas goes away. Which makes me think its an allergy/immune response. Kind of makes sense. Although- a response to something I ATE or something internal like a PARASITE? I DON'T KNOW. F
Medications: Birth control pill, day 6 of 8 of Macrobid, took a liver supplement, took calcium and magnesium in the morning
I would like to think this is a detox reaction and that its "ok", but I really don't know what this is.
It reminds me of Fluconazole a little- in some ways yes, but some ways no. Yes- movement in my body. No- muscles aren't relaxing such as my back and stomach
Eating makes it better. When I eat, the gas goes away. But just for a little, then it comes right back. This sucks! This is so scary. What is happening to me?
update- the ER notes said that my neurological signs were normal. Something is causing all this gas though... So even though it feels like pressure and muscle changes, which seems neurological, plus my thinking is so much faster (?), its something to do with gas that is trapped and moves about.
Friday, June 8, 2018
Eating Log
06/08
I had woken up, after sleeping downstairs on the couch, in less pain than the day before. no breathing problems
Morning- ate yogurt with apricot
and a hot dish of cooked coconut oil, kidney beans, and pepper powder, and cilantro
and, a smoothie of coconut milk, greens powder and banana
currently: have not taken medications yet
feel like I can't breathe. constipated. Food is making gurgling noises.
update 5 min later- PAIN in neck
10 min later- fast shit, then pain receded
a few hours later- feeling of movement in my legs, not breathing well, gassy feeling in stomach
Was it: coconut oil, banana, chili powder?
A few hours later- burped a little, but didn't make the gas feeling go away
Ate some canned pineapple
Not long after- symptoms of problems.. headache, weird feeling in my body.
HMMM
Am I doing poorly with sugar? Wi
I had woken up, after sleeping downstairs on the couch, in less pain than the day before. no breathing problems
Morning- ate yogurt with apricot
and a hot dish of cooked coconut oil, kidney beans, and pepper powder, and cilantro
and, a smoothie of coconut milk, greens powder and banana
currently: have not taken medications yet
feel like I can't breathe. constipated. Food is making gurgling noises.
update 5 min later- PAIN in neck
10 min later- fast shit, then pain receded
a few hours later- feeling of movement in my legs, not breathing well, gassy feeling in stomach
Was it: coconut oil, banana, chili powder?
A few hours later- burped a little, but didn't make the gas feeling go away
Ate some canned pineapple
Not long after- symptoms of problems.. headache, weird feeling in my body.
HMMM
Am I doing poorly with sugar? Wi
Friday, May 25, 2018
Late May 2018- restart diet and taking supplement
I am starting on a new diet plan of elimination of most allergens/sensitivities/inflammatory foods. I am avoiding: rice, wheat, corn, soy, canola, egg, sesame, nuts, and peanuts as well as all raw fruits and vegetables (because her study is on fruits and vegetables).
And, once a day, I will be taking the supplement that Helen Harrison is providing me, which is supposed to help with gut health by making proteins that help grow connective tissue.
The hope is that this will fix my leaky gut, enabling me to eat foods which are actually good for me, which will further make me feel happy and healthy.
Here are my current health issues: My neck, jaw, back, and legs really hurt ALOT, and the rest of me hurts everywhere. The jaw pain is making it hard for me to chew and eat. The next pain hurts a lot and makes me scared of driving, and also hurts in nearly all activities- conversation (keeping my head up, looking at the computer or TV, at a book, walking, etc. The leg pain just hurts and makes it so that I can't stretch or rub my thighs or hamstrings. I never do runner's stretch anymore because its too tight. My back pain is making everything impossible. Sitting, being upright, walking (the farthest I walk now is to the mailbox and back, which causes me back pain). I KNOW its NOT NORMAL, I can't explain it, its just too tight and any movement of stretching makes it hurt. I don't exercise whatsoever. I am unable to lay on my back- my back is stuck arched and it really hurts.
It also really hurts when I am standing still. Therefore, most of my time is spent between sitting and lying down. It's about the most pathetic thing I ever imagined for myself.
My chest is always pushed forward, my neck is forward and chin raised/back of head dropped, but I can't bring it back. My neck is kind of killing me.
That was just muscular. Digestive issues- barely eat, no energy from food, unable to digest nearly all food (meat, rice, bread, fruits and veggies, anything cold, Clif bars, beans - they all make me feel uncomfortable and 'just sit there'). But, I'm never satisfied with food and always want to eat more. I open and close the fridge and pantry all day long, and as soon as I come back home from something. I'll never find what I'm looking for. Its my stomach that is the problem, not the food.
I basically have little in the way of bowel movements (every few days). They come out alright looking currently, although pale, but god it just takes forever to get one. Then, after I poop, my stomach will feel sick unless I eat something. I've had issues throughout my life of diarrhea, floating poop, other problems, but currently I don't have those issues.
My lymph nodes seriously hurt.
I don't have periods- that is a long-term issue. My testosterone is high and my facial hair is getting thicker and worse.
I am verging on hypothyroidism.
I hurt everywhere, a lot.
My sleep is impacted due to pain. I do not wake feeling refreshed. I never feel tired at night. I have all sorts of neck and pillow problems. I sleep on my side always. I am unable to lay on my back.
This is exacerbated by how much time I spend online, but that it adding to the issue, not the issue itself.
I find it hard to feel good.
No sex drive.
My mind just feels blech. Tired, not clear. Not interested in focussing on something because the positioning hurts my body. And I just don't feel like it. Don't feel like reading, writing, singing, learning something new, growing plants, being outside (but that is hard given pain).... just don't feel like any of it. Too much pain.
And, once a day, I will be taking the supplement that Helen Harrison is providing me, which is supposed to help with gut health by making proteins that help grow connective tissue.
The hope is that this will fix my leaky gut, enabling me to eat foods which are actually good for me, which will further make me feel happy and healthy.
Here are my current health issues: My neck, jaw, back, and legs really hurt ALOT, and the rest of me hurts everywhere. The jaw pain is making it hard for me to chew and eat. The next pain hurts a lot and makes me scared of driving, and also hurts in nearly all activities- conversation (keeping my head up, looking at the computer or TV, at a book, walking, etc. The leg pain just hurts and makes it so that I can't stretch or rub my thighs or hamstrings. I never do runner's stretch anymore because its too tight. My back pain is making everything impossible. Sitting, being upright, walking (the farthest I walk now is to the mailbox and back, which causes me back pain). I KNOW its NOT NORMAL, I can't explain it, its just too tight and any movement of stretching makes it hurt. I don't exercise whatsoever. I am unable to lay on my back- my back is stuck arched and it really hurts.
It also really hurts when I am standing still. Therefore, most of my time is spent between sitting and lying down. It's about the most pathetic thing I ever imagined for myself.
My chest is always pushed forward, my neck is forward and chin raised/back of head dropped, but I can't bring it back. My neck is kind of killing me.
That was just muscular. Digestive issues- barely eat, no energy from food, unable to digest nearly all food (meat, rice, bread, fruits and veggies, anything cold, Clif bars, beans - they all make me feel uncomfortable and 'just sit there'). But, I'm never satisfied with food and always want to eat more. I open and close the fridge and pantry all day long, and as soon as I come back home from something. I'll never find what I'm looking for. Its my stomach that is the problem, not the food.
I basically have little in the way of bowel movements (every few days). They come out alright looking currently, although pale, but god it just takes forever to get one. Then, after I poop, my stomach will feel sick unless I eat something. I've had issues throughout my life of diarrhea, floating poop, other problems, but currently I don't have those issues.
My lymph nodes seriously hurt.
I don't have periods- that is a long-term issue. My testosterone is high and my facial hair is getting thicker and worse.
I am verging on hypothyroidism.
I hurt everywhere, a lot.
My sleep is impacted due to pain. I do not wake feeling refreshed. I never feel tired at night. I have all sorts of neck and pillow problems. I sleep on my side always. I am unable to lay on my back.
This is exacerbated by how much time I spend online, but that it adding to the issue, not the issue itself.
I find it hard to feel good.
No sex drive.
My mind just feels blech. Tired, not clear. Not interested in focussing on something because the positioning hurts my body. And I just don't feel like it. Don't feel like reading, writing, singing, learning something new, growing plants, being outside (but that is hard given pain).... just don't feel like any of it. Too much pain.
Sunday, May 20, 2018
New post for May
So- considering that I am planning on doing this diet with Helen Harrison-
I really should go on a gluten-free, casein-free diet. I don't even like milk much, it wouldn't hurt me to cut it out.
The only thing I could have at Starbucks would be the inside of the egg omelette. I guess I won't be going out much for the next six months...
Today is May 20th. I could do a cleanse of some sort from now until I get my first supplement.
Only drink tomato sauce, and cabbage. That sounds like a good breakfast to me! And, no food besides that except little amounts of cashews, or something like that.
Clearly, I am dying, my health is dying, my insides are dying, I am a wreck, I can't function.
Although, will dietary things change anything for me..??
Because really, it was Fluconazole that made all the difference. Although I suppose that I did get my period partway into being gluten-free. HRMMMM
But anyways- I was looking at my allergen results from Genova and Dr. Wikle's tests- They showed- corn, soy (crap!), wheat, peanuts, nuts (pecan, walnut, almond), and a small response to milk.
Which means that ideally I shouldn't be eating any of those things and provoking an allergen response. ...
So, is today the day? Just like yesterday was, until I ate all that wheat desserts? lol
Also, I read about MSG and other "free glutamates" being a huge problem, and they are in protein bars as hydrolyzed protein (ah, my favorite food)...
I really should go on a gluten-free, casein-free diet. I don't even like milk much, it wouldn't hurt me to cut it out.
The only thing I could have at Starbucks would be the inside of the egg omelette. I guess I won't be going out much for the next six months...
Today is May 20th. I could do a cleanse of some sort from now until I get my first supplement.
Only drink tomato sauce, and cabbage. That sounds like a good breakfast to me! And, no food besides that except little amounts of cashews, or something like that.
Clearly, I am dying, my health is dying, my insides are dying, I am a wreck, I can't function.
Although, will dietary things change anything for me..??
Because really, it was Fluconazole that made all the difference. Although I suppose that I did get my period partway into being gluten-free. HRMMMM
But anyways- I was looking at my allergen results from Genova and Dr. Wikle's tests- They showed- corn, soy (crap!), wheat, peanuts, nuts (pecan, walnut, almond), and a small response to milk.
Which means that ideally I shouldn't be eating any of those things and provoking an allergen response. ...
So, is today the day? Just like yesterday was, until I ate all that wheat desserts? lol
Also, I read about MSG and other "free glutamates" being a huge problem, and they are in protein bars as hydrolyzed protein (ah, my favorite food)...
Thursday, May 17, 2018
May 2018
went to Shakti festival, now I'm back, man I just wish I had a journal with empty pages so I'm writing on here.
The main thing is that I was given some hope of a possible diagnosis- a mutation that affects the processing of epithelial cells, mainly, or possibly an electrolyte disorder.
This was from a woman named Helen Harrison, friend of Fred's, who I met with and she said that she had been living with chronic health problems for decades until she figured it out for herself that she had a connective tissue disorder (which genetic testing revealed).
Then, she experienced a fast, easy?, complete cure after taking a supplement and avoiding phenolic foods (aka fruits and vegetables).
So basically, now here I am, with my own pain issues, and thinking that 'that could be me too'- I could have this disorder, (finally! This IS IT!), and I could be cured just like she was, I could have a pain-free life. ...
So, of course, as is typical for me, I am getting completely ahead of myself, hopeful, only to have my hopes come crashing down amidst all my pain at a later date (precisely two-four months later, since she is giving me the supplement for four months).
Then when I'm back to my typical pain, it will be 'worse'- because now it will really go on forever. Nothing to stop me from thinking that it could get better. So, I will be fixed to a hopeless, helpless life - in - pain.
See? See how getting my hopes up really causes problems?! I mean obviously I can go on- I've been doing it all these years anyways. (That's the rational side of me that I don't like. The real side of me wants to throw up my head, cry at this terrible fate of chronic unbeatable pain, hate my life, and tell people how terrible it is, and have an emotional release- of pure devastation).
So, its sad. See- I might learn that I have a mutation, and that there's nothing I can do about it. For example- Helen's pills might not work, or not work very well, or work for a week and then stop working, or I might get into a car accident- or whatever. We don't really know. The only thing I know is that I don't expect a hundred percent cure (okay- I do expect it, and that is what is driving me crazy). Plus the anticipation- She didn't say when I will start to receive the supplements.
The main thing is that I was given some hope of a possible diagnosis- a mutation that affects the processing of epithelial cells, mainly, or possibly an electrolyte disorder.
This was from a woman named Helen Harrison, friend of Fred's, who I met with and she said that she had been living with chronic health problems for decades until she figured it out for herself that she had a connective tissue disorder (which genetic testing revealed).
Then, she experienced a fast, easy?, complete cure after taking a supplement and avoiding phenolic foods (aka fruits and vegetables).
So basically, now here I am, with my own pain issues, and thinking that 'that could be me too'- I could have this disorder, (finally! This IS IT!), and I could be cured just like she was, I could have a pain-free life. ...
So, of course, as is typical for me, I am getting completely ahead of myself, hopeful, only to have my hopes come crashing down amidst all my pain at a later date (precisely two-four months later, since she is giving me the supplement for four months).
Then when I'm back to my typical pain, it will be 'worse'- because now it will really go on forever. Nothing to stop me from thinking that it could get better. So, I will be fixed to a hopeless, helpless life - in - pain.
See? See how getting my hopes up really causes problems?! I mean obviously I can go on- I've been doing it all these years anyways. (That's the rational side of me that I don't like. The real side of me wants to throw up my head, cry at this terrible fate of chronic unbeatable pain, hate my life, and tell people how terrible it is, and have an emotional release- of pure devastation).
So, its sad. See- I might learn that I have a mutation, and that there's nothing I can do about it. For example- Helen's pills might not work, or not work very well, or work for a week and then stop working, or I might get into a car accident- or whatever. We don't really know. The only thing I know is that I don't expect a hundred percent cure (okay- I do expect it, and that is what is driving me crazy). Plus the anticipation- She didn't say when I will start to receive the supplements.
Monday, April 30, 2018
April 2018
Gosh, its been a few months and I forgot about this blog and while I do have a lot of updates, mainly due to Feldenkrais class, I'm not sure how much I'm in the mood to go into it all. I was looking at my previous posts and they are pretty interesting for me to look back and read- how dead-end sure I am about some things, things that have changed and stayed the same.
The updates are- I've pretty much gotten my forehead to relax compared to how it used to be, and my forehead looks smoother and more pretty and normal than it used to, as a result. It is a mix of Cymbalta making me a little more relaxed, and the pretty interesting things I've been doing, Feldenkrais style. Such as- holding my forehead, and then feeling into my eyes and realizing that my eyes are not in my eye sockets- they are tight and fixed about half an inch above it. Then the muscle clicks and it relaxes.
Pretty crazy, I never used to be able to feel and do things with my body like that before I did Feldenkrais. And sometimes I move my eyes back and forth to put my facial muscles into place instead of being tight. It reminds me of what I've read of EMDR, and I do think that people would be pretty interested to hear about it, although I am not sure they'd get what I mean or not.
Although it works, it doesn't really doesn't fix whatever problem is going on that's making me tight in the first place. So I am working on that and seeing lots of doctors, but little to not progress.
I do lots of holding or putting my awareness somewhere in my body, and then it clicks. I don't know why it works. Although, I often notice that my awareness keeps pulling at my upper forehead- where my mind is. Which physically pulls my neck up and out, and mentally is just like being on a slow, plodding hamster wheel that I can't get off of except for a few seconds. So when I say my mood is good and my forehead is clearer- it is, but this is still an issue.
I don't really have any friends. Blech. I do kind of hate my life, although when I think of a busier social life I don't feel very interested in that.
Surprisingly my thyroid tested bad for the first time in my life. I'll get a retest to see if that was just a bad test or if there really is an issue. If there is- blech, even more health problems to control.
For the last - 6 months, year? I've practically stopped eating. I don't like to discuss it because I'm worried that people will think strangely or badly of me. But, I basically get by on maybe 400 calories a day. Oddly, I'm not really that skinny. And I'm definitely not hungry.
Sadly, I didn't get my period again this year, even though I tried the Takesumi detox stuff once again.
So, I'm going on birth control, and that is supposed to affect me systemically too, so that is even more symptoms to watch out for.
Man, I'm going to be pretty unhappy when I no longer have health care (in a year and a half, when my mom retires). I love my doctors, they are a highlight of my life because they listen to me and I'm open with them and they are trying to help me. But as I will have to learn, all good things must come to an end. I will have to learn to get by even with things not as I wish them to be. I probably won't learn that lesson and will just hate my life, knowing me though.
I don't even feel thankful that I have healthcare. I just feel like I need it and I feel kind of crappy about myself (there goes the pain talking). I have incredible doctors (as in very skilled, smart, and compassionate as well). Every single one of them. And my copays and blood tests or other lab tests are incredibly cheap. I haven't even gotten billed for them, and I've gotten blood tests and stool tests and urine tests multiple times this year.
That reminds me- I got a C. diff infection after my antibiotics (after the ER gave me a broad-spectrum one, in thinking wrongly that I had a UTI). Ugghh. It hurt. It would be a terrible way to die. Since I'm kind of a hypochondriac, I thought it might kill me, and that was very scary, the stuff I was reading online. But, I took Vancomycin- an antibiotic, which worked, and now I hardly think about it. It is good/lucky that I took it quickly due to my excellent healthcare, and survived without any long term complications.
I kind of wish my parents would just say here Marissa, we've got tons of money, just take it and don't worry about it. We love you and we can share.
But, A) They wouldn't say that unless they change B) I wouldn't even say that to someone, I'm really stingy and not generous, and I am the one that should be sympathetic! It would take alot of changing on my part too, to be free financially with someone without reciprocation
My insomnia has been pretty crazy. I have no recollection of what it is like to feel tired. Although I know it was like this throughout all of high school and college- I never felt 'tired', so it hasn't changed much. But, what has changed is that now I just stay up all night, instead of at some point falling asleep even without tiredness. Now that doesn't even happen.
Unfortunately, Cymbalta gives me some really intense dreaming and therefore I am stuck at my small dose, because the dreams will make me all tight at night and in alot of pain in the morning. Lame.
I really tried to stick it out with Cymbalta and be on an antidepressant for more than 2 weeks. I've made it an entire two months. I should be congratulated for that. I had an incredibly terrible time when I started- dizziness and staying up all night. I never would have stuck with it except that I was in a personal competition to stay on antidepressants long enough so that Sari couldn't tell me I keep quitting them too early. Lol. And, as it turns out, those bad symptoms from the first weeks did go away (huh! All along I thought stuff like that wouldn't go away when I was on past antidepressants). Now I have no obvious symptoms, just I feel somewhat less overthinking and better quality sleep (yay!), but nightmares and intense dreams(not yay).
I didn't bother with this for years- but I finally took Restoril due to Sari's encouragement, and well- it did make me sleep. Who's to say that I shouldn't take it every night..? If I become addicted to it, is that any worse than not being able to sleep naturally?
Its kind of silly.
Other changes- So- while I can barely move, and my back hurts all the time, so I do not walk more than a few steps and do not do my laundry (UGH), my body does feel better than it did a year ago.
I am extremely aware now of what is wrong with my posture. My entire back is bent too much forward, my legs and hips and fixed in place, my stomach is tight, and my neck can't move and on top of that, is stuck in forward-head syndrome.
Now, I would have thought that 'understanding' that would lead to my being able to 'fix' it. But as it turns out, I just can't move. So whatever movements I do to release my muscles, they just end up tightening up again. I say this after having spent countless hours, whole days, and actually months now, on body awareness. And the hard fact to face is that its not working. There is something else going on that is making me so tight and unable to move. Maybe this would be obvious to an outsider- I am only 28 and previously athletic, and now I can't walk, but anyways, to me its not obvious. While I think it is largely due to the (supposed) Candida infection, given my huge response to Fluconazole, I can't say for sure that that's really what it is.
Oh god, Fluconazole- how I miss waking up without joint pain, being able to self massage- click click, my muscles would release in my hamstrings, my face not all tight. And the food- the fact that I could eat fruit! That was pretty cool.
I have much less of a response to Fluconzaole anymore (and sometimes no response). I think that the Candida may have become Fluconazole-resistant, and that is why I can't feel it anymore. Well- its just a guess. Like everything I come up with, it makes sense to me but I'm not a doctor and am often wrong. But it sounds so plausible! lol
So anyways, I think of asking my doctor for a different anti-fungal, but then I'm so incredible distracted by so many other health issues and things to look into, I haven't gotten around to asking that specifically.
I am in general doing 'poor-to-okay', meaning that I'm not going into any severe depressions, but I just simply am hanging out at home and not applying my mind, all day every day.
I don't have a job. I don't want a job because my body hurts to much to sit or focus for extended periods. But, sometimes at Landmark I'm talking and stuff and my body feels so much better, so I don't know! I mean, I could expect that from a job- the getting out of my head which makes my body feel better-, but I simply can't deal with the other issues that it takes- putting on clothes, walking from the parking lot, being hot/cold/sick in my stomach. Ugh. I'm not being dealt a ton of crap for not working, and I would say it bothers me less than it used to, but it still bothers me.
One insight which has been really interesting for me is the simple fact that man- my health / flexibility has really gotten WORSE in the past few years. I have this mindset that it will always, always get better, always get back to health, that I'm young and I 'should' be strong. And then when it comes down to it, I didn't have a back problem like this when I was in college - I was still running, and I was dancing salsa a few years ago, and now I can barely walk. And- I truly have no idea why. But as far as accepting this, its been pretty odd for me to realize that people can get worse, that situations and health can change for the worse, just because, not for any good reason. I can't even imagine how it feels to be old and know that your health is just in permanent decline, no 'cure' to even look forward to. Because its scary being messed up and not having a cure. I am messed up and while I don't have a definite avenue for a cure, I spend every freaking day looking into things that might change the course of my health to normalcy.
And I am lucky in that now I can say (or at least think)- "Its the fungal infection, its not ME".
Whereas it used to be just everything was my fault, to my mind. Although, I'm still shy about mentioning it, lol. Plus there's a lot else wrong. Such as, maybe my PCOS is just getting beyond the edge of control, who knows? (Apparently its an inflammatory disorder).
The updates are- I've pretty much gotten my forehead to relax compared to how it used to be, and my forehead looks smoother and more pretty and normal than it used to, as a result. It is a mix of Cymbalta making me a little more relaxed, and the pretty interesting things I've been doing, Feldenkrais style. Such as- holding my forehead, and then feeling into my eyes and realizing that my eyes are not in my eye sockets- they are tight and fixed about half an inch above it. Then the muscle clicks and it relaxes.
Pretty crazy, I never used to be able to feel and do things with my body like that before I did Feldenkrais. And sometimes I move my eyes back and forth to put my facial muscles into place instead of being tight. It reminds me of what I've read of EMDR, and I do think that people would be pretty interested to hear about it, although I am not sure they'd get what I mean or not.
Although it works, it doesn't really doesn't fix whatever problem is going on that's making me tight in the first place. So I am working on that and seeing lots of doctors, but little to not progress.
I don't really have any friends. Blech. I do kind of hate my life, although when I think of a busier social life I don't feel very interested in that.
Surprisingly my thyroid tested bad for the first time in my life. I'll get a retest to see if that was just a bad test or if there really is an issue. If there is- blech, even more health problems to control.
For the last - 6 months, year? I've practically stopped eating. I don't like to discuss it because I'm worried that people will think strangely or badly of me. But, I basically get by on maybe 400 calories a day. Oddly, I'm not really that skinny. And I'm definitely not hungry.
Sadly, I didn't get my period again this year, even though I tried the Takesumi detox stuff once again.
So, I'm going on birth control, and that is supposed to affect me systemically too, so that is even more symptoms to watch out for.
Man, I'm going to be pretty unhappy when I no longer have health care (in a year and a half, when my mom retires). I love my doctors, they are a highlight of my life because they listen to me and I'm open with them and they are trying to help me. But as I will have to learn, all good things must come to an end. I will have to learn to get by even with things not as I wish them to be. I probably won't learn that lesson and will just hate my life, knowing me though.
I don't even feel thankful that I have healthcare. I just feel like I need it and I feel kind of crappy about myself (there goes the pain talking). I have incredible doctors (as in very skilled, smart, and compassionate as well). Every single one of them. And my copays and blood tests or other lab tests are incredibly cheap. I haven't even gotten billed for them, and I've gotten blood tests and stool tests and urine tests multiple times this year.
That reminds me- I got a C. diff infection after my antibiotics (after the ER gave me a broad-spectrum one, in thinking wrongly that I had a UTI). Ugghh. It hurt. It would be a terrible way to die. Since I'm kind of a hypochondriac, I thought it might kill me, and that was very scary, the stuff I was reading online. But, I took Vancomycin- an antibiotic, which worked, and now I hardly think about it. It is good/lucky that I took it quickly due to my excellent healthcare, and survived without any long term complications.
I kind of wish my parents would just say here Marissa, we've got tons of money, just take it and don't worry about it. We love you and we can share.
But, A) They wouldn't say that unless they change B) I wouldn't even say that to someone, I'm really stingy and not generous, and I am the one that should be sympathetic! It would take alot of changing on my part too, to be free financially with someone without reciprocation
My insomnia has been pretty crazy. I have no recollection of what it is like to feel tired. Although I know it was like this throughout all of high school and college- I never felt 'tired', so it hasn't changed much. But, what has changed is that now I just stay up all night, instead of at some point falling asleep even without tiredness. Now that doesn't even happen.
Unfortunately, Cymbalta gives me some really intense dreaming and therefore I am stuck at my small dose, because the dreams will make me all tight at night and in alot of pain in the morning. Lame.
I really tried to stick it out with Cymbalta and be on an antidepressant for more than 2 weeks. I've made it an entire two months. I should be congratulated for that. I had an incredibly terrible time when I started- dizziness and staying up all night. I never would have stuck with it except that I was in a personal competition to stay on antidepressants long enough so that Sari couldn't tell me I keep quitting them too early. Lol. And, as it turns out, those bad symptoms from the first weeks did go away (huh! All along I thought stuff like that wouldn't go away when I was on past antidepressants). Now I have no obvious symptoms, just I feel somewhat less overthinking and better quality sleep (yay!), but nightmares and intense dreams(not yay).
I didn't bother with this for years- but I finally took Restoril due to Sari's encouragement, and well- it did make me sleep. Who's to say that I shouldn't take it every night..? If I become addicted to it, is that any worse than not being able to sleep naturally?
Its kind of silly.
Other changes- So- while I can barely move, and my back hurts all the time, so I do not walk more than a few steps and do not do my laundry (UGH), my body does feel better than it did a year ago.
I am extremely aware now of what is wrong with my posture. My entire back is bent too much forward, my legs and hips and fixed in place, my stomach is tight, and my neck can't move and on top of that, is stuck in forward-head syndrome.
Now, I would have thought that 'understanding' that would lead to my being able to 'fix' it. But as it turns out, I just can't move. So whatever movements I do to release my muscles, they just end up tightening up again. I say this after having spent countless hours, whole days, and actually months now, on body awareness. And the hard fact to face is that its not working. There is something else going on that is making me so tight and unable to move. Maybe this would be obvious to an outsider- I am only 28 and previously athletic, and now I can't walk, but anyways, to me its not obvious. While I think it is largely due to the (supposed) Candida infection, given my huge response to Fluconazole, I can't say for sure that that's really what it is.
Oh god, Fluconazole- how I miss waking up without joint pain, being able to self massage- click click, my muscles would release in my hamstrings, my face not all tight. And the food- the fact that I could eat fruit! That was pretty cool.
I have much less of a response to Fluconzaole anymore (and sometimes no response). I think that the Candida may have become Fluconazole-resistant, and that is why I can't feel it anymore. Well- its just a guess. Like everything I come up with, it makes sense to me but I'm not a doctor and am often wrong. But it sounds so plausible! lol
So anyways, I think of asking my doctor for a different anti-fungal, but then I'm so incredible distracted by so many other health issues and things to look into, I haven't gotten around to asking that specifically.
I am in general doing 'poor-to-okay', meaning that I'm not going into any severe depressions, but I just simply am hanging out at home and not applying my mind, all day every day.
I don't have a job. I don't want a job because my body hurts to much to sit or focus for extended periods. But, sometimes at Landmark I'm talking and stuff and my body feels so much better, so I don't know! I mean, I could expect that from a job- the getting out of my head which makes my body feel better-, but I simply can't deal with the other issues that it takes- putting on clothes, walking from the parking lot, being hot/cold/sick in my stomach. Ugh. I'm not being dealt a ton of crap for not working, and I would say it bothers me less than it used to, but it still bothers me.
One insight which has been really interesting for me is the simple fact that man- my health / flexibility has really gotten WORSE in the past few years. I have this mindset that it will always, always get better, always get back to health, that I'm young and I 'should' be strong. And then when it comes down to it, I didn't have a back problem like this when I was in college - I was still running, and I was dancing salsa a few years ago, and now I can barely walk. And- I truly have no idea why. But as far as accepting this, its been pretty odd for me to realize that people can get worse, that situations and health can change for the worse, just because, not for any good reason. I can't even imagine how it feels to be old and know that your health is just in permanent decline, no 'cure' to even look forward to. Because its scary being messed up and not having a cure. I am messed up and while I don't have a definite avenue for a cure, I spend every freaking day looking into things that might change the course of my health to normalcy.
And I am lucky in that now I can say (or at least think)- "Its the fungal infection, its not ME".
Whereas it used to be just everything was my fault, to my mind. Although, I'm still shy about mentioning it, lol. Plus there's a lot else wrong. Such as, maybe my PCOS is just getting beyond the edge of control, who knows? (Apparently its an inflammatory disorder).
Thursday, January 25, 2018
first time taking an antibiotic
It's been crazy. I took it for four days and had all sorts of shit happen that I didn't attribute to the meds (my bad; well, my doctor's bad for not telling me that antibiotics can have all sorts of side effects.)
I got alot of muscle relief, similar to the antifungal, but even more so.
But, I got a seriously terrible amount of headache, gas, and discomfort.
So, it was a die-off reaction? What the hell do I even have?
I'm actually pretty scared that I've secreted a bunch of toxins into my system now, and could have long-term effects of that. Who knows? And what happened to being a nature lover who wanted to be all natural blah blah, and now I'm just going full- scale western med on whatever I have. sad.
I was taking it for my vaginal infection, but its giving me all these systemic effects.
I wish I knew more about medicine. This sucks.
It also sucks that I keep being so totally wrong about my healthcare. For example. being sure that my back pain was psychosomatic "because 80% of pain is human created" (Sadhguru), and "80% of back pain is psychosomatic" (that book about psyhcosomatic pain.
And just now- being so sure I had the stomach flu, (and telling people that!), when in fact I was having a response to flagyl. God, I just have no flipping idea when it comes down to it. My doctor knows more than I do. Although, he never seemed to think that I had a rogue infection causing my problems..
update- I learned later over the week that the reason I was having such as insane reaction wasn't ONLY the fact that I was taking the antibiotic. It had something to do with taking the antibiotic along with the antidepressant. When I stopped taking the antidepressant a few days later, my head returned to normal and my headaches went away. Sadly, my incredible releasing muscles went away too, it was related. My doctor said 'too much serotonin'. hmph.
While this whole incident was pretty strange (who knew that antibiotics could have an effect on antidepressants), I was actually on only half of the lowest dose of the antidepressant Trintellix. Can you imagine, I would have been out of my mind had I been taking to full dose..
I got alot of muscle relief, similar to the antifungal, but even more so.
But, I got a seriously terrible amount of headache, gas, and discomfort.
So, it was a die-off reaction? What the hell do I even have?
I'm actually pretty scared that I've secreted a bunch of toxins into my system now, and could have long-term effects of that. Who knows? And what happened to being a nature lover who wanted to be all natural blah blah, and now I'm just going full- scale western med on whatever I have. sad.
I was taking it for my vaginal infection, but its giving me all these systemic effects.
I wish I knew more about medicine. This sucks.
It also sucks that I keep being so totally wrong about my healthcare. For example. being sure that my back pain was psychosomatic "because 80% of pain is human created" (Sadhguru), and "80% of back pain is psychosomatic" (that book about psyhcosomatic pain.
And just now- being so sure I had the stomach flu, (and telling people that!), when in fact I was having a response to flagyl. God, I just have no flipping idea when it comes down to it. My doctor knows more than I do. Although, he never seemed to think that I had a rogue infection causing my problems..
update- I learned later over the week that the reason I was having such as insane reaction wasn't ONLY the fact that I was taking the antibiotic. It had something to do with taking the antibiotic along with the antidepressant. When I stopped taking the antidepressant a few days later, my head returned to normal and my headaches went away. Sadly, my incredible releasing muscles went away too, it was related. My doctor said 'too much serotonin'. hmph.
While this whole incident was pretty strange (who knew that antibiotics could have an effect on antidepressants), I was actually on only half of the lowest dose of the antidepressant Trintellix. Can you imagine, I would have been out of my mind had I been taking to full dose..
January 2018
This month has been a real doozy of watching myself react, then not react, to the anti fungal. I also started taking the antibacterial called Flagyl, which I'll get to later.
So here's what been happening with the anti-fungal.
I take it on Sundays.
On Mondays- I wake up with much less pain (unimaginably less) pain than the day before. I wake up, and because I can, I do a quick yoga-type 'upward dog' stretch, and that causes my upper back to have a nice little crack. To be clear- nice little cracks NEVER happened before I started taking anti-fungals. I just couldn't move.
Over the next few days, I will have times of impressive amounts of movement/energy in my body, and that correlates with my doing massage and laying down and letting my muscles relax on their own to move into the right places. But it goes in and out, its not like a whole day of it. Also, these days are associated with me talking and singing to myself quite alot more than usual. My voice comes out so loud and clear (for me; probably just normal for anyone else). I am surprised at the changes to my voice; but its just because the muscles around my face and jaw are relaxed.
Then by thurs/fri/sat/sun it keeps happening, but I notice that I'm in so much more pain, can't walk, can't bend, can't tie my shoes, can't shower, hate everything, etc. And I have despairing thoughts. And I just cannot stop make back from rounding in and my chest holding. I realize I can't work, because I can't sit in a chair. I stop doing the talking, the singing; I become disconnected because I don't want to be around people. My face - the wrinkles are set; I seem to be clenching my jaw and face without realizing it or doing it on purpose. Communication becomes harder in general, even small questions. 'How are you?' questions become this big deal to answer.
Umm yeah. Then I wake up Monday after having taken it Sunday and I'm fine again. Of course, fine being something that I haven't ever experienced in the last 15 years before I took this antifungal.
However, during this whole thing- I am having insomnia. And I am having back pain that still isn't good enough to get a message or allow me to stand still and to walk. Even with all that body relaxing, the muscles that would allow me to walk in my back just aren't working right.
So here's what been happening with the anti-fungal.
I take it on Sundays.
On Mondays- I wake up with much less pain (unimaginably less) pain than the day before. I wake up, and because I can, I do a quick yoga-type 'upward dog' stretch, and that causes my upper back to have a nice little crack. To be clear- nice little cracks NEVER happened before I started taking anti-fungals. I just couldn't move.
Over the next few days, I will have times of impressive amounts of movement/energy in my body, and that correlates with my doing massage and laying down and letting my muscles relax on their own to move into the right places. But it goes in and out, its not like a whole day of it. Also, these days are associated with me talking and singing to myself quite alot more than usual. My voice comes out so loud and clear (for me; probably just normal for anyone else). I am surprised at the changes to my voice; but its just because the muscles around my face and jaw are relaxed.
Then by thurs/fri/sat/sun it keeps happening, but I notice that I'm in so much more pain, can't walk, can't bend, can't tie my shoes, can't shower, hate everything, etc. And I have despairing thoughts. And I just cannot stop make back from rounding in and my chest holding. I realize I can't work, because I can't sit in a chair. I stop doing the talking, the singing; I become disconnected because I don't want to be around people. My face - the wrinkles are set; I seem to be clenching my jaw and face without realizing it or doing it on purpose. Communication becomes harder in general, even small questions. 'How are you?' questions become this big deal to answer.
Umm yeah. Then I wake up Monday after having taken it Sunday and I'm fine again. Of course, fine being something that I haven't ever experienced in the last 15 years before I took this antifungal.
However, during this whole thing- I am having insomnia. And I am having back pain that still isn't good enough to get a message or allow me to stand still and to walk. Even with all that body relaxing, the muscles that would allow me to walk in my back just aren't working right.
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