Under this esoteric title, I'd like to introduce a glimpse into a subject that I think should be studied!
I have thought for a long time that there was just something interesting, and mathematical, about the way that noise grows with human interactions. Here's what I mean: with one person, you have very little noise - the person is thinking, and maybe shuffling around and moving objects. Then you add one person. The two people talk and have a small conversation. Then you add one more person, so there's three people. The inclusion of another person makes the two more excited, animated. Then have another person, with four people its loud, there's multiple things going on, with five they can split into groups, go more places, not be huddled at one spot around a table or standing.
Then take this to the next level, when you walk into a place with more than 5 people, there's usually alot of excitement, conversing. The noise goes up, the background noise is louder, the people are louder, and the action is increased. Go into a coffee shop and its loud hum of talking, working, preparing food, etc. Go into a restaurant and its scinitillating with noise bouncing off the walls when it gets busy. Lastly, go to a stadium, where people are all gathered together; you can't drown out the noise except with a loudspeaker.
I think the jump from one noise to two, and then three, is interesting, because its such a huge change. I have a feeling that mathematically, this is exponential, the way loudness and activity increases with more people. I'd be interested in recording the decibel value of two versus three people conversations, and seeing if there's a commonality that could be traced back to a mathematical formula.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Principles of Non-violent Communication
Here is a summary of an interesting workshop on Non-Violent Communication led by Pierre Couvillion.
The workshop was meant to introduce the subject of non-violent communication (NVC) - why we need it, and how it works. NVC was created as a pathway to solving problems through non violence, leading to more harmonious interactions.
Most people are aware that altercations and fighting are not mature or desired ways to act in an argument. How many times has a fight left you angry and unsettled? But when struggles and differences do come up, how can they be dealt with in a way that leaves both parties satisfied, and even welcomed and heard?
Non-violent communication is a skill to be learned, it takes practice, and therefore practice materials are given. Below is the outline for what to say when trying to build a bridge and overcome a problem between two people. Some important starting tips are to maintain neutrality, to not blame, and to listen actively.
To start with, engage the person you are having a problem with at a proper time that works for them. Ask them to try this activity out; have their permission and acceptance of this style of problem solving. You will each be given a set amount of time by the other person to say whats on your mind.
Here's what you say - your account of what happened, but as neutrally as possible, and taking great care with your words. For example, instead of 'you were home late', 'you were home at 8 pm rather than at 6pm'. Then your feelings associated with this - for example 'hurt, afraid, worried'. Then you say a need that went unfulfilled during the circumstance, for example 'safety, support'. Yes, you literally say, out loud, the exact feeling/s you felt, and the need/s that you had required.
Then its the other persons turn to talk - and they start with simply repeating back what you said, in your words. They get to hear your story, they don't get to change your story or point out your bias; they simply hear it from you and tell it back to you. You can rephrase or add details if a large point was misunderstood, but quickly, and still-neutrally, with your anger contained. Remember you had your say, and now its time to hear their point of view. Now it is the partners turn to speak their account, their feelings and needs, and at the end you repeat it back to them.
It feels vulnerable, but it gets easier over time. Feelings are a touchy subject for many people. Don't be surprised if speaking your feelings makes you suddenly overwhelmed by a whole backlog of feelings that you've been holding onto. Don't worry, because you'll have time to express yourself in the future, and to reap the rewards of interacting with others on a more authentic level.
The workshop was meant to introduce the subject of non-violent communication (NVC) - why we need it, and how it works. NVC was created as a pathway to solving problems through non violence, leading to more harmonious interactions.
Most people are aware that altercations and fighting are not mature or desired ways to act in an argument. How many times has a fight left you angry and unsettled? But when struggles and differences do come up, how can they be dealt with in a way that leaves both parties satisfied, and even welcomed and heard?
Non-violent communication is a skill to be learned, it takes practice, and therefore practice materials are given. Below is the outline for what to say when trying to build a bridge and overcome a problem between two people. Some important starting tips are to maintain neutrality, to not blame, and to listen actively.
To start with, engage the person you are having a problem with at a proper time that works for them. Ask them to try this activity out; have their permission and acceptance of this style of problem solving. You will each be given a set amount of time by the other person to say whats on your mind.
Here's what you say - your account of what happened, but as neutrally as possible, and taking great care with your words. For example, instead of 'you were home late', 'you were home at 8 pm rather than at 6pm'. Then your feelings associated with this - for example 'hurt, afraid, worried'. Then you say a need that went unfulfilled during the circumstance, for example 'safety, support'. Yes, you literally say, out loud, the exact feeling/s you felt, and the need/s that you had required.
Then its the other persons turn to talk - and they start with simply repeating back what you said, in your words. They get to hear your story, they don't get to change your story or point out your bias; they simply hear it from you and tell it back to you. You can rephrase or add details if a large point was misunderstood, but quickly, and still-neutrally, with your anger contained. Remember you had your say, and now its time to hear their point of view. Now it is the partners turn to speak their account, their feelings and needs, and at the end you repeat it back to them.
It feels vulnerable, but it gets easier over time. Feelings are a touchy subject for many people. Don't be surprised if speaking your feelings makes you suddenly overwhelmed by a whole backlog of feelings that you've been holding onto. Don't worry, because you'll have time to express yourself in the future, and to reap the rewards of interacting with others on a more authentic level.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
the Religion of Nature / the Absurdity of Life
This could turn into a long post..
To start with, I believe that nature is essentially a religion. Its the religion of time, of primal essence, of things happening that have nothing to do with us humans and everything to do with us. Nature is something you can believe in because you see it with your own eyes. Your senses take in your surroundings, constantly, looking at structures, buildings, good, streetlights. Subconsciously but importantly- we all breath in the air, taking oxygen through narrowed lung pipes. Its definite that nature is real, its something we all experience. And even though I think of nature as just trees, flowers, earth, and animals, really everything we derive is nature. Even steel, ore, gasoline, automobiles come from natural sources that have been modified.
Now, onto the nature of nature. Nature never talks to us. It never tells us what it plans to do, why its there. Its luminously big - the planet extends out in all directions, the sky extends straight up, and up, and up. We are left in its midst, tiny, outnumbered. Nature is always bigger than us, even when it is smaller than us, like in the case of bugs and bacteria. Nature never tells us why its there, or why we are alive. nature doesn't tell us why, and neither does anything else. We are left bottomless, constantly sensing and thinking, and instinctually acting, not so different from a bug eating from a leaf then growing and dying. But with so much more confusion, fear, emotion, we act blindly despite being able to see, because no one tells us, why we can see.
Therefore we look to religion, and some of us are fulfilled by this. Religion envelops us into a community. And in a community we feel less alone, less afraid; we feel more worth, and we are told that we have a purpose, that while the reason may be veiled, a reason is there as to our existence. Without a sense of purpose, the meaninglessness, the purposelessness, of living - takes hold in your system, resides in some cavity of your body - mind connection. And it festers there. It grows, shrinks, depending on your mood, but it takes up space, and our bodies are already maximally, evolutionarily, spaced for what we need to survive and nothing more. And our mind are this gigantic reservoir, overloaded with excess space that we need to fill, to fulfill by having a sense of purpose. Its cruel really, the absurdity of life- it makes me suffer.
And I've noticed that in nature is a religion of its own. It may be secular, humanist, and not have followers who wear robes. But at its essence, nature can be thought of as a type of religion. It gives us something to belong to, and at the same time transcends our very small and localized existence with a broader blanket. For me, the nature of religion lacks in meaning, I am still missing the why. But at the least, I am calmed minimally by the sense that nature is there, that life isn't simply pipes, smokestacks, freeways, and cars driving to and fro. Because in nature there is something you can belong to. I can't belong to time zones, and I really don't understand them. But I can start to belong to time - to circles - to seasons that change but then come back around to their beginnings. Even if my understanding of nature has been typified and organized, julienned by science, I can see how nature is a religion. No, its not our job to piece apart religion, and perhaps the piecing apart of nature is a goal that has backfired by causing the light of nature to burn less brightly in the eyes of youth? Fire still warms, whether its a combustion reaction or not.
Other ways that nature is religion - there's the seasons, which cycle. There's food, and water, sustenance for needy populations. There's the fact that a girl gets a period at puberty, and then can make a baby, but monthly will experience bleeding. There's the fact that we get older, see our bodies grow and mature and change. There's birth and death, and in the animal and plant kingdom, there is insect and animal mating, birth, seeds, and death - senescence. There's water that we see as raindrops and snow and oceans. There's mountains, valleys, lakes, geological formations. Much of it is stunning, such as a sunrise, sunset, or sunny or cloudy day. We are wired for it, that much is true. I don't understand it, nobody knows why, frankly I find it absurd. But I and everyone else am wired with it, part of it, inexplicably and yet intractably, indubitably, part of the natural essence.
Please, help me understand this. If you have figured it out. Because I suffer on, whether or not it is beautiful and a part of my innermost being to explore.
To start with, I believe that nature is essentially a religion. Its the religion of time, of primal essence, of things happening that have nothing to do with us humans and everything to do with us. Nature is something you can believe in because you see it with your own eyes. Your senses take in your surroundings, constantly, looking at structures, buildings, good, streetlights. Subconsciously but importantly- we all breath in the air, taking oxygen through narrowed lung pipes. Its definite that nature is real, its something we all experience. And even though I think of nature as just trees, flowers, earth, and animals, really everything we derive is nature. Even steel, ore, gasoline, automobiles come from natural sources that have been modified.
Now, onto the nature of nature. Nature never talks to us. It never tells us what it plans to do, why its there. Its luminously big - the planet extends out in all directions, the sky extends straight up, and up, and up. We are left in its midst, tiny, outnumbered. Nature is always bigger than us, even when it is smaller than us, like in the case of bugs and bacteria. Nature never tells us why its there, or why we are alive. nature doesn't tell us why, and neither does anything else. We are left bottomless, constantly sensing and thinking, and instinctually acting, not so different from a bug eating from a leaf then growing and dying. But with so much more confusion, fear, emotion, we act blindly despite being able to see, because no one tells us, why we can see.
Therefore we look to religion, and some of us are fulfilled by this. Religion envelops us into a community. And in a community we feel less alone, less afraid; we feel more worth, and we are told that we have a purpose, that while the reason may be veiled, a reason is there as to our existence. Without a sense of purpose, the meaninglessness, the purposelessness, of living - takes hold in your system, resides in some cavity of your body - mind connection. And it festers there. It grows, shrinks, depending on your mood, but it takes up space, and our bodies are already maximally, evolutionarily, spaced for what we need to survive and nothing more. And our mind are this gigantic reservoir, overloaded with excess space that we need to fill, to fulfill by having a sense of purpose. Its cruel really, the absurdity of life- it makes me suffer.
And I've noticed that in nature is a religion of its own. It may be secular, humanist, and not have followers who wear robes. But at its essence, nature can be thought of as a type of religion. It gives us something to belong to, and at the same time transcends our very small and localized existence with a broader blanket. For me, the nature of religion lacks in meaning, I am still missing the why. But at the least, I am calmed minimally by the sense that nature is there, that life isn't simply pipes, smokestacks, freeways, and cars driving to and fro. Because in nature there is something you can belong to. I can't belong to time zones, and I really don't understand them. But I can start to belong to time - to circles - to seasons that change but then come back around to their beginnings. Even if my understanding of nature has been typified and organized, julienned by science, I can see how nature is a religion. No, its not our job to piece apart religion, and perhaps the piecing apart of nature is a goal that has backfired by causing the light of nature to burn less brightly in the eyes of youth? Fire still warms, whether its a combustion reaction or not.
Other ways that nature is religion - there's the seasons, which cycle. There's food, and water, sustenance for needy populations. There's the fact that a girl gets a period at puberty, and then can make a baby, but monthly will experience bleeding. There's the fact that we get older, see our bodies grow and mature and change. There's birth and death, and in the animal and plant kingdom, there is insect and animal mating, birth, seeds, and death - senescence. There's water that we see as raindrops and snow and oceans. There's mountains, valleys, lakes, geological formations. Much of it is stunning, such as a sunrise, sunset, or sunny or cloudy day. We are wired for it, that much is true. I don't understand it, nobody knows why, frankly I find it absurd. But I and everyone else am wired with it, part of it, inexplicably and yet intractably, indubitably, part of the natural essence.
Please, help me understand this. If you have figured it out. Because I suffer on, whether or not it is beautiful and a part of my innermost being to explore.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
The Infinite Sum of our Past Experiences
I've both decided and come to the conclusion that we are all, a near- infinite sum of our past experiences. Our perception is related and simultaneously a reflection of our entire past. What constitutes our past? Socially, ethnically, culturally, vocationally, in each facet of life we weave through an existence that builds upon our past experiences.
For me, what emphasizes the point, of each person being unique and subject to and reflective of our past, is reviews. Every review that was ever made has in question the author's background. The same thing can be reviewed - a movie, book, article, and is subject to countless interpretations. Even the basic feelings evoked can vary largely from person to person. While one person's trash is another person's treasure, one person's 'boring' can be another person's muse, their inspiration.
I love reading reviews because I like to learn how the piece in question has affected other people with a different background than me. It teaches me about people's life experiences, because their reactions are the result of a formation of their beliefs. Like when I listen to a classic song on youtube and browse the comments, the song will hit people in a multitude of places that I haven't felt. And likewise, my reactions to things are different than other people's and unique.
But I think its interesting to imagine just what excessively complicated setup each person has to their life that causes them to react the way they do. Its not just a matter of likes and dislikes. Its a matter of appreciation, of openness, of things hitting your worldview and bouncing off, or things meshing together like bread on butter.
For me, I see each person's comment on youtube as the exploration of a separate and unique existence inherent to all people. What that person was brought up with and influenced by ultimately comes into play as they write their snippet of a comment on a youtube video. Flame wars are yet another way to see each person's varying reactions and takes on a subject.
I think its interesting that youtube allows for so much interaction in an anonymous scale. You can write anything you like on a youtube video, post, or blog comment. And I imagine that most people are honest in what they write, not writing from an alter ego. The anonymous nature of the online allows me and everyone else the opportunity to be kindled by experiences of someone they've never even known. Its helpful to accurately realize that not everyone has the same worldview as you, otherwise all the comments written would just be your own voice talking.
For me, what emphasizes the point, of each person being unique and subject to and reflective of our past, is reviews. Every review that was ever made has in question the author's background. The same thing can be reviewed - a movie, book, article, and is subject to countless interpretations. Even the basic feelings evoked can vary largely from person to person. While one person's trash is another person's treasure, one person's 'boring' can be another person's muse, their inspiration.
I love reading reviews because I like to learn how the piece in question has affected other people with a different background than me. It teaches me about people's life experiences, because their reactions are the result of a formation of their beliefs. Like when I listen to a classic song on youtube and browse the comments, the song will hit people in a multitude of places that I haven't felt. And likewise, my reactions to things are different than other people's and unique.
But I think its interesting to imagine just what excessively complicated setup each person has to their life that causes them to react the way they do. Its not just a matter of likes and dislikes. Its a matter of appreciation, of openness, of things hitting your worldview and bouncing off, or things meshing together like bread on butter.
For me, I see each person's comment on youtube as the exploration of a separate and unique existence inherent to all people. What that person was brought up with and influenced by ultimately comes into play as they write their snippet of a comment on a youtube video. Flame wars are yet another way to see each person's varying reactions and takes on a subject.
I think its interesting that youtube allows for so much interaction in an anonymous scale. You can write anything you like on a youtube video, post, or blog comment. And I imagine that most people are honest in what they write, not writing from an alter ego. The anonymous nature of the online allows me and everyone else the opportunity to be kindled by experiences of someone they've never even known. Its helpful to accurately realize that not everyone has the same worldview as you, otherwise all the comments written would just be your own voice talking.
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