June 2019

This is becoming just the most insane, health-issues - laden year of my life.  I thought last year was terrible when I kept going into and out of Cymbalta withdrawals.  But now this is even worse.

Well, we don't know what is going on.  My abdominal ultrasound was normal.  My bloodwork was normal.

I have variously thought it was: gallstones, gallbladder cancer, stomach cancer, NET tumor, ulcers, Leukodystrophy, Creutzfeldt-Jakob prion disease, Brain cancer, dysautonomia, Ehlers-Danlos, mitochondrial disease shutting down my stomach and muscles, porphyria, etc etc


I don't know!  I have alot of abdominal pain, but I also have a lot of everywhere pain.

Problems:
I get sick when I eat.
I feel dizzy.
I feel ALOT of pain- pain in different places,
I feel EXCESSIVELY weak.  I have never even imagined the sort of weakness that I feel now, on a daily basis.
Extreme pain and tiredness with eating.
I am very food picky- most everything makes me sick.

Sonya asked what my body pain could have to do with Dad's cancer.  UGHHHH  Why am I even seeing a psychiatrist.  lol.

What's unclear to me, is - is that Gastroparesis (inability to eat), or is this an ulcer (pain from a sore or multiple sores, within the intestines), or just some weird thing that I have never heard of, or literally cancer.  Did I ever have porphyria, or did I just get sick with something?

Lev says that he's sick too- but he's such a stress case.. who knows if he isn't just stressing out about work 24/7.

Uggh I feel sick.

Dr. Berg says that ulcer treatment is: DGL (licorice), zinc-carnosine, cabbage juice (yay!), chlorophyll meaning veggie greens (which of course made me sick).

I suppose I could just try to live, not fix it, and the more symptoms that come up, the more I will be on my way to a (deadly) diagnosis..


I went to the ER twice in the last two weeks.  The first time I was beside myself with having had all these MUSCLE problems over the last two weeks, and had basically felt really sick and unwell and gone into mom's room and said I didn't feel okay.  The second time, luckily dad took me and the place was FREEZING.  It took 4 and a half hours to be seen, I think.  I declined blood tests, because they are always normal.  They didn't tell me to change clothes or to put in an IV.

This attack is ending..

I have felt a little better over the last few days.

A little bit and a little bit more today.

Started:
05/25/19
Ending:
06/12/19

What was the trigger?
I have no idea, although it did seem to worsen pretty significantly when I drank alcohol, only one of the times.

EDIT:  It did not end.  Like 3 minutes after I wrote this, I ate some food, and, boom- triggered for an hour now already.

No Diagnosis -- but such severity of issues - am I dying?

Told Kyla that I am dying (so I think).  She said no, you can't not while I'm alive... lol what a stupid response.  But at least I got that out of the way so that she can know why I am not responding to text and stuff, that was a worry of mine.

Lord, I am quite a worried child, am I not?  Why can't I just be free to say whatever I want and feel what I want, express what I want, (dislike what I want!)

Anyways, I basically can't stand, can't lift, can't eat, can't sleep.  My mind (body) just goes crazy at night- all alone with SO many issues that are hurting and taking up my attention.  

I'm scared that I'm going to get a bowel obstruction.  This past week, I've only gone number two ... twice, and they both were really hard pellets, that I just simply couldn't evacuate from my body.

more thoughts about my health problems which are really bad

I don't know what is going on!  I don't know if this is a leaky gut injecting things into my body, Lyme's disease, cancer (bone cancer, brain cancer, anything else that is causing a paraneoplastic syndrome..)
I don't know! I am having so many neurological symptoms- spasms in my muscles (that thing where the intercostal muscles were so tight! That was crazy).  Dizzy/shaky/wooshing in ears, weakness, tightness, tiredness, vomiting.

I'm also having frequent changes in mood - terribly anxious, then fine, then just miserably sad, then just kind of out of it and without feeling.

Then there's - is it a nutritional thing? Lack of a micronutrient, due to gastroparesis and/or leaky gut.


I must not concern myself with what is going on in my body, since I never seem to come up with any good answers.  But the worse the pain gets, the more it has me going online, which is ugh.

If it was a micronutrient deficiency, would it cause these exact symptoms?  I don't know but seems like perhaps not.  Although the Vit C deficiency thing is interesting, I guess.

So I was going on and on about histamine  But, I suppose that its

Who shall help me?

This is scary!  scary scary scary.