Thursday, January 31, 2019

How I'm doing on Lyrica / Gabapentin taper

I did quit Gabapentin entirely and went through a week of basically soul-crushing 'hardness' in my entire body.  It was as if a liquid went through me and then turned solid in my veins and muscles.  I was also really, abominably cold.  Like, didn't show my legs for a week straight because I needed clothing to cover them due to cold.  But also terribly hypersensitive to the feeling of clothing, so I basically only wore yoga pants.

Then I went on Lyrica.  It did make me feel like my muscles relaxed.  Although it was like a two-step thing.  I would feel it when I took it (the 25 mg), and it would make me feel something in my forehead and get really tired and kind of dizzy in my thinking.  That  lasted a while - like a few hours.  Then as that slowly subsided over several hours, I got more and more normal feeling. - less body pain, and less forehead pain.  However, My whole body was still incredibly tight due to how I felt after just having weaned off Gabapentin, and that did not go away.  So it was like having less pain on top of tons of pain.  I was wondering why I felt like that but I understand it now.  If I had taken Lyrica without all that excessive tightness from Gabapentin withdrawal it probably would have been better.

Anyways, I went from taking 25 mg Lyrica to 12.5 because of the dizzy tiredness.  I did not get the dizzy tiredness at 12.5  At first it seemed successful on my first dose, then, and perhaps I had poured out more than the time before, I just didn't feel it hardly at all.  Then I got withdrawal symptoms on that smaller dose, and thought, "NAH", and stopped taking it.

So, what occurred after that was interesting withdrawal symptoms- my body got kind of crazy feeling, then subsequently all hard (bad), then the ER thing happened for about a day where my thoughts were kind of flying, and my body STOPPED HURTING.  Then I woke up and felt normal, which for me is calm and back pain.  Which I haven't felt like in a month.  So the withdrawal may be coming to an end.  I'll miss you, ER stuff.  I'll miss how my body didn't hurt.


So, there is a middle ground.  I could have taken around 20 mg.  I think the issue is that it needs to last long enough to completely overlap with the next dose; it can't leave any wiggle room in between the doses.  That is a bit tough for me to figure out because at the 25 mg twice a day dose, I get too tired in the beginning.  (Although I did feel nice and calm for so many hours after that!).  So it's a crapshoot.  And I probably won't ever want to take it for the rest of my life and get addicted to it.

Monday, January 14, 2019

How I'm doing on Lyrica/ Gabapentin taper

I'm doing terrible, I'm unhappy, I'm in ALOT of pain which is not letting me go out and drive or do anything to speak of.  Although I have been to synagogue, it really hurts my neck and I can't stand during the standing prayers.

Okay so here's what happened:  I went to the rheumatologist and got prescribed Lyrica.  I was supposed to taper from Gabapentin at 300 mg every few days.

When I started the taper, I was surprised that my daily waking up in back muscle spasms stopped happening.  I had a few instances of side effects - headaches, but not too much.  It seemed like I was just in a generally huge amount of pain.  My muscles were all tight, I wasn't doing much besides staying home and occasionally walking Carly to get out of the house.  Its hard to explain - I was in more pain, but I was in less distressing muscle cramping.  So I thought I was doing fairly well, all things considered, as compared to how awful and horrible I was expecting.

But then a couple weeks in the stomach stuff really started.  Those fast bowel movements, light colored, and full of gas.  The gas wouldn't go away and it got terrible after a shit.  It was really weird. I'd wake up okay, but then as soon as I ate and had a BM, I'd be in pain for hours and hours.
I tried a slew of antacids over the counter, all of which didn't work for more than a minute.  I tried: Mylanta, milk of magnesia, TUMS, and Pepsid AC.  I had a funny week of trying them and feeling various muscle releasing (for just a few moments), which made me wonder if my muscle pain has something to do with stomach gas?  I mean what?  Why else would it cause that?  But on the whole, I couldn't figure out what was happening.  It didn't go away.  I went on Omeprazole, have been on it for 5 days.

Still taking Cymbalta.

Now as far as LYRICA:
I tried Lyrica once- 25 mg, and felt kind of helter-skelter pain relief.  I tried it because I was in so much pain from Gabapentin withdrawal, but didn't want to take more Gabapentin since I want to taper off it.  I tried it sincerely due to needing pain relief.  I am in more pain than I can tolerate.  Like I can't think or anything in this much pain.  I would if I had to, but its really horrible and I can't move and I can't be happy and I hate my life and should I kill myself, I don't know..?  etc.
I also tried 50 mg and that worked really well, gave me lots of pain relief.  I actually just laid down in bed and ended up napping a few hours. 

So Lyrica is giving me withdrawal symptoms too! After its initial pain relief- and boy do my muscles relax thank god.  Its like a feeling I don't even recognize, but it feels so right.  But anyways, with Lyrica, the pain relief has been sporadic - place to place to place, not all over.  Not only that, but it causes lots of cramping, at the same time as the pain relief.  And then yesterday, I took 50 mg, and got all wierd and pain relief, but,  when I slept i just woke up in pain with spasming muscles.  FUCK ME is how I feel.

What the fuck to do?  When I go off my meds, I get the stomach problem that doesn't go away, and gets worse with time.  And pain.  Which of course I need the meds to help with.  Dear god.  

I am so fuckign frustrated.  I hate that these meds cause me so much pain and cause me to feel like I am in a spiral of increased pain that i am never going to get out of.