Friday, May 25, 2018

Late May 2018- restart diet and taking supplement

I am starting on a new diet plan of elimination of most allergens/sensitivities/inflammatory foods.  I am avoiding: rice, wheat, corn, soy, canola, egg, sesame, nuts, and peanuts as well as all raw fruits and vegetables (because her study is on fruits and vegetables).

And, once a day, I will be taking the supplement that Helen Harrison is providing me, which is supposed to help with gut health by making proteins that help grow connective tissue.

The hope is that this will fix my leaky gut, enabling me to eat foods which are actually good for me, which will further make me feel happy and healthy.

Here are my current health issues:  My neck, jaw, back, and legs really hurt ALOT, and the rest of me hurts everywhere.  The jaw pain is making it hard for me to chew and eat.  The next pain hurts a lot and makes me scared of driving, and also hurts in nearly all activities- conversation (keeping my head up, looking at the computer or TV, at a book, walking, etc.  The leg pain just hurts and makes it so that I can't stretch or rub my thighs or hamstrings.  I never do runner's stretch anymore because its too tight.  My back pain is making everything impossible.  Sitting, being upright, walking (the farthest I walk now is to the mailbox and back, which causes me back pain).  I KNOW its NOT NORMAL, I can't explain it, its just too tight and any movement of stretching makes it hurt.  I don't exercise whatsoever.  I am unable to lay on my back- my back is stuck arched and it really hurts.

It also really hurts when I am standing still.  Therefore, most of my time is spent between sitting and lying down.  It's about the most pathetic thing I ever imagined for myself.

My chest is always pushed forward, my neck is forward and chin raised/back of head dropped, but I can't bring it back.  My neck is kind of killing me.

That was just muscular.  Digestive issues- barely eat, no energy from food, unable to digest nearly all food (meat, rice, bread, fruits and veggies, anything cold, Clif bars, beans - they all make me feel uncomfortable and 'just sit there').  But, I'm never satisfied with food and always want to eat more.  I open and close the fridge and pantry all day long, and as soon as I come back home from something.  I'll never find what I'm looking for.  Its my stomach that is the problem, not the food.

I basically have little in the way of bowel movements (every few days).  They come out alright looking currently, although pale, but god it just takes forever to get one.  Then, after I poop, my stomach will feel sick unless I eat something.  I've had issues throughout my life of diarrhea, floating poop, other problems, but currently I don't have those issues.

My lymph nodes seriously hurt.

I don't have periods- that is a long-term issue.  My testosterone is high and my facial hair is getting thicker and worse.

I am verging on hypothyroidism.

I hurt everywhere, a lot.

My sleep is impacted due to pain.  I do not wake feeling refreshed.  I never feel tired at night.  I have all sorts of neck and pillow problems.  I sleep on my side always.   I am unable to lay on my back.
This is exacerbated by how much time I spend online, but that it adding to the issue, not the issue itself.

I find it hard to feel good.

No sex drive.

My mind just feels blech.  Tired, not clear.  Not interested in focussing on something because the positioning hurts my body.  And I just don't feel like it.  Don't feel like reading, writing, singing, learning something new, growing plants, being outside (but that is hard given pain).... just don't feel like any of it.  Too much pain.




Sunday, May 20, 2018

New post for May

So- considering that I am planning on doing this diet with Helen Harrison-

I really should go on a gluten-free, casein-free diet.  I don't even like milk much, it wouldn't hurt me to cut it out.

The only thing I could have at Starbucks would be the inside of the egg omelette.  I guess I won't be going out much for the next six months...

Today is May 20th.  I could do a cleanse of some sort from now until I get my first supplement. 

Only drink tomato sauce, and cabbage.  That sounds like a good breakfast to me!  And, no food besides that except little amounts of cashews, or something like that.

Clearly, I am dying, my health is dying, my insides are dying, I am a wreck, I can't function.

Although, will dietary things change anything for me..??

Because really, it was Fluconazole that made all the difference.  Although I suppose that I did get my period partway into being gluten-free.  HRMMMM

But anyways- I was looking at my allergen results from Genova and Dr. Wikle's tests- They showed- corn, soy (crap!), wheat, peanuts, nuts (pecan, walnut, almond), and a small response to milk.

Which means that ideally I shouldn't be eating any of those things and provoking an allergen response.  ...

So, is today the day?  Just like yesterday was, until I ate all that wheat desserts? lol

Also, I read about MSG and other "free glutamates" being a huge problem, and they are in protein bars as hydrolyzed protein (ah, my favorite food)...

Thursday, May 17, 2018

May 2018

went to Shakti festival, now I'm back, man I just wish I had a journal with empty pages so I'm writing on here.

The main thing is that I was given some hope of a possible diagnosis- a mutation that affects the processing of epithelial cells, mainly, or possibly an electrolyte disorder.

This was from a woman named Helen Harrison, friend of Fred's, who I met with and she said that she had been living with chronic health problems for decades until she figured it out for herself that she had a connective tissue disorder (which genetic testing revealed).

Then, she experienced a fast, easy?, complete cure after taking a supplement and avoiding phenolic foods (aka fruits and vegetables).

So basically, now here I am, with my own pain issues, and thinking that 'that could be me too'- I could have this disorder, (finally! This IS IT!), and I could be cured just like she was, I could have a pain-free life.  ...

So, of course, as is typical for me, I am getting completely ahead of myself, hopeful, only to have my hopes come crashing down amidst all my pain at a later date (precisely two-four months later, since she is giving me the supplement for four months).

Then when I'm back to my typical pain, it will be 'worse'- because now it will really go on forever.  Nothing to stop me from thinking that it could get better.  So, I will be fixed to a hopeless, helpless life - in - pain.

See?  See how getting my hopes up really causes problems?!  I mean obviously I can go on- I've been doing it all these years anyways.  (That's the rational side of me that I don't like.  The real side of me wants to throw up my head, cry at this terrible fate of chronic unbeatable pain, hate my life, and tell people how terrible it is, and have an emotional release- of pure devastation).

So, its sad.  See- I might learn that I have a mutation, and that there's nothing I can do about it.  For example- Helen's pills might not work, or not work very well, or work for a week and then stop working, or I might get into a car accident- or whatever.  We don't really know.  The only thing I know is that I don't expect a hundred percent cure (okay- I do expect it, and that is what is driving me crazy).  Plus the anticipation- She didn't say when I will start to receive the supplements.