January 2018

This month has been a real doozy of watching myself react, then not react, to the anti fungal.  I also started taking the antibacterial called Flagyl, which I'll get to later.

So here's what been happening with the anti-fungal.
I take it on Sundays.
On Mondays- I wake up with much less pain (unimaginably less) pain than the day before.  I wake up, and because I can, I do a quick yoga-type 'upward dog' stretch, and that causes my upper back to have a nice little crack.  To be clear- nice little cracks NEVER happened before I started taking anti-fungals.  I just couldn't move.

Over the next few days, I will have times of impressive amounts of movement/energy in my body, and that correlates with my doing massage and laying down and letting my muscles relax on their own to move into the right places.  But it goes in and out, its not like a whole day of it.  Also, these days are associated with me talking and singing to myself quite alot more than usual.  My voice comes out so loud and clear (for me; probably just normal for anyone else).  I am surprised at the changes to my voice; but its just because the muscles around my face and jaw are relaxed.

Then by thurs/fri/sat/sun it keeps happening, but I notice that I'm in so much more pain, can't walk, can't bend, can't tie my shoes, can't shower, hate everything, etc.  And I have despairing thoughts.  And I just cannot stop make back from rounding in and my chest holding.  I realize I can't work, because I can't sit in a chair.  I stop doing the talking, the singing; I become disconnected because I don't want to be around people.  My face - the wrinkles are set; I seem to be clenching my jaw and face without realizing it or doing it on purpose.  Communication becomes harder in general, even small questions.  'How are you?' questions become this big deal to answer.

Umm yeah. Then I wake up Monday after having taken it Sunday and I'm fine again. Of course, fine being something that I haven't ever experienced in the last 15 years before I took this antifungal.

However, during this whole thing- I am having insomnia.  And I am having back pain that still isn't good enough to get a message or allow me to stand still and to walk.  Even with all that body relaxing, the muscles that would allow me to walk in my back just aren't working right.