Man, why did I witheld to Julie that 'when you try to stop the thoughts, they just get louder', that didn't resonate for me at all; if I had said that then Daniel would have agreed and we would've had more empathy.
kept of convo with the guy at peets; dissapointed because I would have gotten to talk to Janet longer.
Witheld of 'hardship, and a work in progress' to monday night group alot
witheld to deborah of roomates DVD player being an Xbox
witheld to Janet of mind wander the first time around
witheld to Deborah that I might get out of work early and also did last week. argh!
witheld to Daniel that his face looks droopy
witheld to Daniel and Julie that that was my current face of the moment - scrunched
witheld to Daniel that coworkers have told me I looked confused
witheld to Julie of 'I saw the therapists, I just don't know which ones are in the program'
witheld to Deborah 'I'm angry at you'. witheld that I wanted to do the cognitive defusion and was disappointed that she didn't hold me to it and that I'm not getting my needed '5 minutes to focus on life in the future'
witheld to process group 'I don't understand what I'm supposed to do about constantly bobbling emotions, how could I not be in my present?
withheld to janet 'mind wander / I call it replay'
witheld to Keith/Kristen how tiring they were.
don't feel like opening up to mom
witheld in interview more information about tree distribution and 'I respect your opinion' and that Calfire is different from the fire department and that in Marin I did invasive weed management
witheld to Janet 'the stakes are so high - its a job' because I really have no anxiety about it and was embarassed by that
witheld to Janet last time too why Debbie had me not think until I got there
witheld to Janet 'thats why I looked away, thinking of the other day', and that its not really related to anxiety because I don't get anxious about stuff beforehand
lying in group when Julie prompted 'just not thinking about things', 'uncertainty' I lied and said I was thinking about my makeup, rather than I was thinking about mind wander. Unsure why she focussed on false reassurances but it is true that the food and letting myself stay in mind wander is just a temporary fix.
witheld 'this time no soymilk' to Peets barista
witheld that I ' just remembered I was supposed to write that - whats going on in the room, hah!' couldve said that and left and been on time. but no, said something else to keep up the convo
witheld to Amie that wasn't what I meant at all ... as far as 'there's a bunch of loud old ladies ' ' life force energy'
witheld to Deborah - 'I'm not really there.. am I even safe to drive a car?' ..
witheld to Daniel 'yes, I always have a million thoughts going on'
witheld to Edward of similarity over aspergers diagnosis, and of mind wander making me unable to think clearly
witheld to Deborah a couple things, that Daniel said I have a bunch of feelings, and something else that had happened
witheld to group taht I didn't think Daniel would mention that we hung out beause I wanted it a secret. witheld its silly, 'how do you feel keeping that from us?' when they haven't been telling us anything
witheld disagreeing about them vs us and that they don't care
did say ' I was trying to converse' but didn't say 'because Deborah was actually being responsive.
witheld, no my problem isn't caring too much, its not havign anyone to care for
withheld 'I just went crazy judgemental replaying how I could've just introduced myself, could've said 'you're in teh program',, now I've worried over it longer than it actually took place
could've said to Julie, no 'being non judgemental isn't a cognitive defusion to me'
witheld to Deborah whatever I was thinking, I forget
witheld to Kristen how continually annoying she is, and keith
did withold that 'you're an asshole' to Joel, then said it. that sucked because he felt bad about it. what an odd thing to not withold
witheld to mom about crying last week
witheld to Eugene that my dad made me not appreciate life; different from being a believer
witheld that Deborah was too harsh those two times she told Daniel to sit up and pay attention
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