A Common Therapist Lie - They'll Give You Time to Open Up

In writing this post, I simply want to expose a lie that I've seen a multitude of times in therapy, that doesn't make very much sense, really.  Therapists tell you on their webpages that therapy goes at your own pace - that you open up if and when you want to.  They say that therapy takes time, and they give respect to the time it takes to form a relationship that you feel comfortable and confident in, enabling you to open up.

Well, if that is that case, then why does every therapy session begin with an intensive assessment of your problems or issues, where you will be asked everything?  Your first session will typically be an overview of - issues in your family, your life, your outlook, how you behave with your family, etc.  No, you won't delve into these problems, because its only an hour long.  But, yes you most definitely will touch upon and bring up things that are of immense psychological value to you.  And you will do all this in the company of someone you just met, who has barely shown you their personality?  For myself, in the first session I've had to talk about anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, and how I behave with my family, which I don't tell anyone about!  And again I'm saying on the very first session, which you rarely will strike up anything close to a confident relationship with someone.

I think that first assessment is completely bizarre in respect to the raw volume of emotional, deep, dark data that is asked of the client to tell. 

I've had to do this multiple times because I've gone to a lot of therapists.  They almost all do this - they ask these structured intake assessments.  On the first session, they do not really show their personality or belief of the world, and as a client you are left without change.   And, you are at a loss for what just went on, which is total disclosure and frequently, shame at having to divulge so much, perhaps with someone you don't even like or feel neutral toward; someone you certainly don't feel like telling your life story to.

And on top of that, you are paying for this first session, going out on a limb talking to this person you have never met about all these scary things; and you are left with little idea of what therapy is like with this person.  They just asked you so many questions to get things out of the way, that they did not begin the therapy itself - the change of outlook that will enable you to enrich your life.  So after that first session, you have volunteered and been asked of so much, and you get so little in return.  You can only guess what this person may have in store for you!  Will they be an incredible benefactor?  Or will they be run of the mill?  You don't know.  


Also, I'm getting pretty sick of the therapist contributing empathy to the equation, it is starting to feel insincere to me.