This post is about the concept of self awareness. In some ways I think it defines me even more than anxiety. Self awareness can feel awkward, brutally awkward when your self awareness involves self judgement.
I think it hit me as an epiphany one day that all this time I spent looking out at the world, scanning, what I was seeing was other people, versus what they were seeing was me. So, I had the self-as-object looking out view, in addition to the self-awareness-of-self-object-looking-out view.
It was a wierd thing to become aware of. It made me hyper aware of myself, knowing that I was being looked at as an object of attention. I started being aware of my facial expressions alot more.
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