I stopped seeing the naturopath. I'm not on any supplements any more. I'm also not strict about the diet- I eat gluten multiple times a week, although less than before I went gluten-free.
The jig is up. The pain is all psycho-somatic. Not a lack of some nutrient, vitamin, or protein.
Landmark insights and self -insights are helping me see that I tighten up nearly all the time when I'm 'witholding'. Add that to the fact that I never let things go or feel good about myself- there's all my body pain.
Just two nights ago, I did this thing where I acknowledged all my deepest mental hurts. Various parts of my body- back, stomach, legs, let go. I'm in alot less pain, and I think its going to keep getting better (as long as I keep acknowledging my hurts).
Man, I'm sorry I spent so much money and time with Dr. Olsen. I didn't know why I couldn't stop, even when it wasn't helping. I guess thats something that is hard for me- finding fault in others but not saying it. The proper thing to say would have been- none of these supplements are doing any good, and if you agree that its psychosomatic, why am I wasting my money here? Of course, I liked being there and I liked seeing the doctor, and my life is so pathetically isolated outside of doctors.
Anyways.. I'm thinking alot about Landmark (SHARE, SHARE, SHARE) which is driving me crazy. When am I going to cut the mind wandering bullshit, and take credit for what I have done rather than act like "Landmark" did it?
Things are going good - I could be pain free by the end of the year.
I quit with Dr. Greene after 4 weeks of 3x/week. It was helping a little but not much. I look forward to getting some more adjustments once I can stabilize my body being looser.
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