I have the time for you

This could even be a mantra, its that good ...

Here's how it came about: I've noticed that I am only able to feel body sensations when I make significant effort to still my thoughts.  They need to slow down in order to recede out of my awareness. And when they do, I don't feel so restless.  My too-fast thinking makes me feel too restless.  And then when my thinking is slower, suddenly I have the time to feel caring towards others - people, creatures, things, and not be so focused on myself.

I've been telling myself in a variety of situations, 'I have the time for you'.  Petting my dog - I have the time for you.  I have the time for your wagging and your jumping and leaning.  I have the time for you.

This week I did a meetup event that only one person showed up to.  I didn't have a particularly good time or connect well with the guy.  But I remembered that I was there to help, that my goal is to help others, so I tried with more effort to lend him my company while we were together.  I tried harder to laugh at things I didn't like, etc, to make him feel better.  Normally, I would have been almost angry at having to spend time with someone I dislike, and fall into mute bothered conversation or thoughts in silence.  So, it helped me out a little - not fully, but somewhat.

The Meetup group is called 'Social Anxiety Busters'; its a group for shy people / people with social anxiety.  Its almost a definite that people in this group are lonely to a large extent.  The link between depression and loneliness, and social anxiety disorder is so strong its really spelled out for you; the acronym for Social Anxiety Disorder is SAD.

I have the time for you.  That's all it takes.  I'm here, now, and I have the time for you.  With that in mind, its just so easy to be caring and pay attention to others needs.

The amazing part is that, while I didn't have a great time of the get together, it was all worth it to me because at the end I got feedback from the guy -'I'm glad I came out, I had a good time.  Lets do it again'. 

I felt so proud of myself for helping him.  I had succeeded in my goal.  Through kindness, and taking the attention off my needs, and simply allowing him a decent chance that he deserved, he had improved.  All I needed to do was allow him my time and keep my mind on task, and the kindness and caring wafted out naturally.  I think that's beautiful how it worked out.  I'm always so highly wanting of feedback, and I received positive feedback without even trying for it.

And when you have so much time for someone, you just become more fully devoted to them.  I swear, there is all the difference between ignoring my dog as I came home, 'fine' to see her but a little bothered by her since I feel preoccupied, versus petting her in adoration and feeling her tail hit me in her doggie joy.

Don't believe yourself for feeling preoccupied.  Don't believe everything you think.  I think I am preoccupied and don't have the time - don't have the time to sit down and eat well or even cook food, don't have the time to watch videos people put on facebook. Its so untrue, inaccurate.  When I think about it, I am unemployed, and have all the time in the world.  But my mind preoccupations convinces me otherwise.  Instead of feeling peaceful and connected as I should, I really do feel a restless and heightened sense of isolation in my preoccupied state.

So for you, and for myself too: I have the time for you.  I have the time to care for you, and to care for you well.  I'm not in a hurry and don't need to believe my mind that something is wrong or lacking.  Its not, so long as I am making contact with something that I can support or help.  All I need is a distraction, and its up to me to choose distractions that I value (learning, helping) or distractions that I don't value (mind wander, disengagement from life).

I've gotten much better at using facebook to support my goals of helping others.  Initially I just wanted to see who had liked my posts.  But now, everytime I log on, I scroll through all the new posts and try to watch everyone's posts and video shares equally so that they know they are being viewed and heard.  I'm even trying to comment more out of the karma principle of giving what you want to get (more feedback).  I find that scary because I don't know if people think its weird that I comment on their posts if we aren't good friends, but its something I'm trying and I think its going great.

To extend 'I will have time for you' to an even greater degree: in the future, I will have time for you, and then I will grow more generous with my time.  I will have so much time for you, as the time dominated by my mind recedes and I start really caring for the world.  I will have all the time that you need - all the time for company, and cries, and laugher.  I will have the money for you - I will get better at sharing.  I will have the strength for you.  I will have the love for you, the passion for you, the support  I will have the time for you, whether or not I like you, you still deserve it; you deserve to know that you matter, and I can show you this by having the time to be attentive to you.
        It would help me out, too.

I have the time to let you discover your true goodness, and mine.